Summary: All good things must come to an end.  Hey, don't blame me.  Y'all knew this was coming eventually.

Rating: R – for language.

Categories: X3, AU

Characters:  Cyclops/Rogue

Genres: Angst, Adult, ShipperWarnings:  This is an overall series warning - Grief and loss issues.  Character death this chapter.  I tried to make it as painless as possible.
 Author's Notes 1:  This one jumps around in point of view a lot, as well as tense.  Sorry.  Some folks I can get into their heads easily, and some others, not so much.  But if you don't know who's speaking, it's either not important or it will be revealed in time. 
 Author's Notes 2: Any and all mistakes are mine.  No blaming my beta who has enough to put up with just dealing with me.  I still hate Jean.  Violently.  And it's not going to get any better as the story progresses. 
 Distribution: The Wayside Inn, Empress' Private Library, and Lady Scriven's only.  All others ask first.
Disclaimer: Marvel owns it all.  I own no one.  Alas, that means Logan belongs to Marvel too, so I can't keep him.  But I'd be happy as all hell to Wolvie-sit should it ever be necessary.  *eg*

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

I'll Be - Edwin McCain

Six months later…

…Scott…

He awoke with a jolt, pushing himself off his stomach with his forearms, head swiveling around quickly back and forth, scouring the room for...something.  The room was empty.  And quiet.  Too quiet.  He could have sworn he'd heard someone call his name. 

…Scott…

"Rogue?" he called, thinking perhaps his wife was in the adjoining bathroom, and had called for him.  "Baby, you still here?"

No answer.  He listened a little harder and couldn't hear any noises coming from the bathroom, and it sounded like the school was already awake and moving around below them, if the very faint sounds of footsteps and muffled chatter were any indication.  Then he glanced at the clock. 

Giving a mental groan, he dropped back down on the mattress.  Not late yet, but not far from it.  He really needed to get a move on.  He'd planned a special lesson for the Danger Room session this morning to test the mettle of some of the second string team, mixing a few of them in with the more seasoned of them. 

He frowned briefly.  He didn't like the idea of Rogue being involved in this session.  She could get hurt.  In actuality, since they'd seriously started discussing starting a family in earnest, he didn't like her being a part of the team at all.  While her fighting techniques were formidable, and no one aside from Logan, Colossus, or himself could best her in hand-to-hand combat, he still got very antsy whenever they suited up for a mission. 

There was no way he'd ever talk her into quitting the team.  She loved it.  But, she had agreed to leave when they started a family.  It just wasn't safe if she didn't.  His frown curled upwards into a grin.  Yeah, time to actively work on making a baby.  To keep her safe, if nothing else.  And the thought of holding their child in his arms…

He could just imagine the look on Charles face when he told them they were pregnant.  The older man would be overcome with joy.  Probably start passing out cigars, Scott was sure of it.  Hell, he'd probably pop a wheelie.  He laughed into the pillow just thinking about that. 

…Scott…

The voice pulled him mercilessly from his reverie.  He definitely heard someone call his name.  Sitting up, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, heart pounding in his chest.  Again, he looked around the room, seeing nothing out of place.

"Who's there?"

…Scott…

His blood ran cold.  He'd know that voice anywhere.  It haunted both his waking hours and his dreams at night.  Only when he was with Rogue did it not plague him.  And recently, this time, it wasn't just the memory. 

"No…not now…" he whispered softly.

…Scott…

His denial swift and stronger this time.  "No."

…Scott… Scott…

"No!" The denial burst from his chest with a vehemence that made his throat throb in pain.  He could actually hear it.  Almost taste it.  Feeling the reverberation of his name pounding against his eardrums as his own name began to roll one right over the other, battering him from all sides.

…ScottScottScott…

"Stop it!"  He fisted his hands in his hair over his ears, pushing against his temples, as if the pressure would make it go away.  But it didn't.  It only made it worse.

…ScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScottScott…

Then he felt it.  That tingling itch at the back of his mind, so very, very faint.  But utterly distinctive.  It could only mean one thing. 

"Please, no.  Not now," he almost whimpered.

…Scott…

He couldn't fight it anymore.  She was alive.

"Jean…"  Her name fell from his lips along with one lone tear that escaped from his clenched eyes and a single drop of blood from where he'd bitten his lip trying to fight what was happening.  The name, tear, and blood, fell to the floor, wrenching a sob from his burning lungs and staining everything they touched. 

Changing everything that had taken place in the past two and a half years.  The exact amount of time he'd been in a relationship with Rogue.  Nearly two years of dating, six months of marriage.  He loved Rogue.  He did.  Didn't he?  Scott shook his head trying to control the thoughts and images spiraling out of control in his brain. 

Jean…who'd seen him through some of the roughest moments he could remember.

Rogue…who'd comforted him in the darkest moment of his life.

Jean…who'd sacrificed herself to save them all.

Rogue…who'd been there for him when no one else had.

Jean…whom he had planned to be with forever before she'd died.

Rogue…whom he loved and with whom he was building a new future.

Jean…whom he had loved.

And damn it still did.

…Scott…

Jean was alive.  And he was married to someone else. 

…You promised me…

But his marital state didn't matter.  Jean was calling him.

…I need you…

And when Jean called, he answered.  Always.

…Scott…Help me…

In a frenzy, he began to dress.

-x-

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
I wish I could
Leave and never return
Baby, I know I should
But for you I'd burn

            I Can't Stay Away - The Veronicas

I swore I wouldn't do this again.  I wouldn't come back here and interfere.  And I'll be damned if I know why I'm here now.  Oh, yeah, I could call or write, but I gotta see her with my own two eyes.  She can't keep the truth from me in person.  So here I am. 

I push open the doors and go inside, fully expectin' to see Marie comin' around the corner.  But it ain't her who calls my name this time.

"Logan."  I turn at the sound of the Professor's voice.  "A word?"

Rolling both shoulders I growl low under my breath and follow him into his office.  I don't need this now.  I just wanted to stop by, check on Marie and make sure she's happy, then get the fuck outta Dodge again as soon as possible.  'Sides, I got someone waitin' on me.

He rolls to a stop behind his desk, picks up a couple of papers and passes 'em to me.  "I need to ask a favor of you."

Well ain't this a switch.  "What?"

"I need you to cover the beta team's Danger Room training exercise this morning.  Storm just let me know that the normal instructor didn't come in as scheduled."

I frown at him.  "Kinda irresponsible, ain't it?  Who was on deck for that today?"

"Scott."

Scooter's a no-show?  That ain't like him.  "What's goin' on Professor?"

Now he's lookin' very uncomfortable, even got his mouth pressed into that disapprovin' tight line that only he does so well.  'Cept maybe Jeannie.  She did it real good too.  "I'm sure it's nothing serious.  If you wouldn't mind…the class?"

Oh, yeah, sure…right.  Not serious.  My ass it ain't serious.  But I know from experience if Chuckles doesn't want you to know somethin', you damn sure ain't gonna get it out of him until he's ready to spill.  If at all.  "Sure, Professor.  When is it?"

"Now."

Figures.  No time to even put my shit down.  Or get a bite to eat.  "Okay.  I'll head down there after I stop by and say hi to Marie."

"No need.  She's with the class already."

Oh, now this I don't like.  She's in the Danger Room without her lovin' hubby to watch over her and he's a no-show to boot.  Fuckin' prick.  I really hate that guy.  I nod at the Professor and leave his office. 

Bitin' back a growl, I punch a few buttons on my cell.  "Pippa.  Yeah, looks like I'm gonna be late.  I dunno.  They, ah…they need me here.  I'll get there as soon as I can.  Yeah.  I'll call first to make sure.  See you soon, girl."

Growlin' loud, I stalk down the hallway to the lift that'll take me down to the Danger Room.  First a babysitter, now a substitute teacher.  How the fuck do I get myself into this shit? 

-x-

You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can’t take it
Again and again and again and again
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I’m so movin’ on,
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want
Since you been gone

Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

"Are you okay?"

Rogue ground her teeth at the irritating question, as well as the person asking it, ignoring him completely and purposefully training her thoughts in another direction.

As surprised as she'd been to see Logan appear right before that bolder crashed where she and Piotr had crouched, she'd really not given too much thought to it.  He came and went as he pleased and while she was happy to see him, her mind had already moved on from the disastrous class to the instructor who'd not bothered to show up for a lesson he'd been the one to plan. 

She knew she should have woken him before she left early this morning.  But he was finally sleeping, something he'd done far too little of in the past few weeks.  She didn't know what had started his restless nights again, and it was worrying her.  He tried not to keep her awake, but sometimes it couldn't be helped.  And for some reason she couldn't explain, last night had been a bad one.  Sleep had finally come for them both, claiming them shortly before the sun came up. 

She slept only a few hours, three to be exact, and hadn't the heart to wake him.  Instead, she'd slid out of his arms and their bed to press her lips softly against his hair, smiling when he mumbled in his sleep and tried to reach for her.  Laughing quietly, she whispered she'd catch up with him later and for him to go back to sleep.  He mumbled again and dropped right back off.  She then prepared for work and had eventually slipped silently from their room to start her day.

And now he'd not shown up for the class.  Her mind raced over what could have caused him to miss this one.  She certainly hoped he wasn't heading back towards depression again.  But it was possible, she knew.  Just because they were married and building a life together didn't mean that he just suddenly didn't love Jean anymore. 

Feelings as deep as the ones he'd had for Jean just didn't up and go away.  It didn't work like that and she knew it.  If they did, she still wouldn't get that little thrill whenever Logan came home or feel that kick of pain whenever she saw Bobby and Kitty together, even though they'd not dated in well over a year or more themselves.

She glanced at her watch.  She had just fifteen minutes to run check on Scott before the Professor needed her back at her desk.  She continued to ignore the young man behind her until he spoke again. 

"Did you hear me?"

"I did.  And I'm fine."

He snorted at that.  "You don't seem fine.  You seem like you're avoiding me.  I mean, something's wrong."

Unwilling to tell him exactly what was making her so distracted, she gave a vague comment.  "What's wrong is, right now, I can't be with the man I love.  Other than that I'm wonderful."

"Hey!" He called out, stopping her from taking the stairs upwards to where she'd left Scott that morning.  "I don't think that's fair.  I've wanted you back since almost right after we split, when I realized what a mistake I'd made.  I'm not the one keeping us apart."

She rolled her eyes.  Why had she never seen that even when they were dating everything was always all about him?  Had she really ever been that blind?  "I wasn't talking about you, Bobby.  Contrary to your perception of yourself, the world does not revolve around you.  In case you've forgotten, I'm married and have been for a while now."

"Don't remind me," he muttered sullenly.  "Rebound relationships don't count."

"Rebound.  Right," she snorted at his incredible arrogance, wondering why she never saw it when they'd been dating.  "A rebound relationship that's gone on for over two years.  Most rebounds don't end in marriage, you jerk.  I love Scott.  I'm happy with him.  Why on earth would I ever do anything to jeopardize that especially with you and after the way you dumped me?"

"I did not dump you.  It was a mutual decision to split up, or did you lie about that?"

"Mutual?  God, that's rich.  Your delusions know no bounds, do they?" She sneered at him.  "The only thing mutual about our break-up was me not letting Scott blast you into atoms or Logan from ripping you open from groin to chin.  And don't think for one second that it was an easy thing to do either."

He scowled at her, clearly not remembering their past the way she did.  "Oh, like that worked.  Cyclops hates me and I've still got claw marks as mementos of how hard you tried to stop Wolverine."

"You're expecting me to feel sorry for you?" She shook her head, making her white streaks dance around her face.  "Not gonna happen."

"I'm permanently fucked thanks to those two maniacs!"

"As I recall, they warned you not to ever hurt me when we first started dating.  Well, Scott did anyway." 

Bobby tossed her a sullen glare.  "He made his point."

She nodded with a grisly smile.  "And he'll continue to do so as long as you're a member of his team.  You know how he is.  He forgives.  But he never forgets."

He felt the grip on his temper loosen because he knew she was right.  His one slip had probably cost him his desire for a career with the X-Men since his ex-girlfriend was married to the leader of the prestigious group.  The same man who had the ear of the only one who'd ever overrule one of Cyclops' decisions, Professor Xavier.  But while Cyclops didn't trust him, he at least let him live in peace.  "At least he doesn't growl at me or try to kill me on a regular basis."

"Oh, Logan's not trying to kill you, Bobby.  If he was, you'd be dead.  Nah, he's playing with you."

"I don't believe you."

"I'm not surprised."  She snorted derisively.  "What did you think would happen when he found out, huh?  If you'd listened to me even once when I talked about him, you'd have expected much worse from Logan.  Frankly, I'm surprised he let you live at all."

He coughed in disbelief.  "The Professor wouldn't let him kill me.  He'd make the Almighty Wolverine spend the rest of his life thinking he was an eight year old little girl in a frilly pink tutu if he ever hurt one of us under his care."

She smirked at him.  "Maybe so.  But only afterwards.  And you'd be just as dead."

Bobby straightened up, feeling a cold feeling settle in the pit of his stomach.  "He wouldn't dare."

"Try him."  At his hesitation, she tapped the side of her head.  "You forget, I've got both of you up here.  I know in vivid detail what he'd do to you given free reign.  I'd watch yourself around him if you're ever out in the field together."

He swallowed hard, unsure if she were just fuckin' with his head or not.  She couldn't be serious.  Wolverine wasn't that unstable, was he?  "You're bluffing."

Rogue laughed.  It wasn't a pretty sound.  "Yeah, you keep thinking that Iceman."  She put a hand on her hip and tilted her head before he could answer.  "While we're on the subject - that you brought up, may I remind you - you're the one who moved on before we split, so why do you care now about how I feel?"

He blinked at her, never having expecting the tension in her voice, the angry set to her shoulders that their conversation was bringing out.  "I thought we were still friends."

"Whatever gave you that idea?" 

"You said you understood and we'd try to get along since we've got to work together."

"Getting along in the work place doesn't equal friendship, Bobby.  It means I don't take a cheap shot at you when I'm supposed to be watching your back in a fight.  Don't make me regret it."  She arched an eyebrow at him that reminded him so much of Wolverine that it set his teeth on edge.  "And friends don't fuck your roommate while they're still dating you.  At least I waited until we'd split before I started sleeping with someone."

He flinched like she'd slapped him as she turned to go upstairs.  "Yeah, okay.  I deserved that.  But it won't last, Rogue."

She rounded on him and advanced slowly.  "What did you just say to me?"

"I said it won't last," he tilted his head back and fixed her with cold eyes.  "I know you think it will, but Cyclops just hasn't been the same since Jean died.  And I hate that he's pulled you into his mess.  He's gonna leave you, Rogue.  One of these days he's gonna realize what he's done and then it'll be all over."

Her jaw literally dropped, then snapped shut with an audible click as two spots of high color appeared on her cheeks.  "You complete asshole!  What I ever saw in you, I have no fucking idea!  Get away from me!"

"I'm just trying to help you!"

"Go to hell, Bobby!  I don't need your kind of help!"

She went to head up the stairs, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her, his tone and cold eyes a testimony to his anger.  "Who are you gonna turn to when he dumps you flat if not me, Rogue?  Who?!"

"You'll never be the one I turn to for anything!  You lost that right when you accidentally stuck your dick in Kitty!"  She jerked her arm away and dashed up the stairs.  "So fuck off already!"

-x-

You better park the car
Well out of sight
'Cos if they catch you in the back seat
Trying to pick her locks
They're gonna send you back to mother
In a cardboard box
You better run

            Run Like Hell - Pink Floyd

"Professor?"

I look up, not surprised to see him, but taken aback at how unkempt he appears.  Something is definitely bothering him.  "Scott.  I was worried."

He doesn't come into my office, rather stands by the door, his shoulders hunched and he refuses to meet my eyes. 

"Have you seen Rogue?"

I nod slowly.  "She's in the training session you scheduled for this morning."

"Oh, yeah.  Ah…about that -"

"I've already arranged for a substitute with Storm."

"Oh.  Well.  Good then."  He waited a minute then added, "I've got an eleven-thirty meeting with the Valenz family."

Which he is in no condition to keep.  "I'll make other arrangements."

He nods and still won't look at me.  I don't like this.  But I promised him long ago I wouldn't pry without invitation unless he were in danger.  And all he shows currently is depression.  Not danger.  He's not looked like this since before he started seeing Rogue, right after Jean died.  I fight a sigh of frustration.  I thought we were past this.

"Scott, something's bothering you.  What is it?"

His mouth twists and he continues to stare at the floor.  "I've gotta get out of here."

"Where do you plan to go?"

He hesitates then answers, "Alkali Lake."

Nothing short of stunned, I barely resist the urge to delve inside his mind.  I should have seen this coming.  He never once went back there after Jean died, nor have I ever seen him approach her marker since the memorial service.  But why now?  Why after he's been married to Rogue for six months.  They appeared so happy.

"Scott, I strongly advise against this."

"I have to go.  Will you…will you tell Rogue that…

I cut him off.  "I believe it is in your best interest if you speak with your wife prior to your departure yourself, and not via proxy."

He nods slowly.  "All right, Professor.  I'll talk with her before I leave."

He turns back and looks at me, a curiously detached expression on his face. And then I know it's not Scott I'm dealing with.  Saying nothing, I watch him struggle in the doorway for a moment, then watch in silence as he ducks his head and leaves.

For a brief moment, I just sit motionless and let what has happened wash over me.  I should have pried.  But I made a promise, and I do not break my vows easily.  And yet, I don't have to go back on my word to check for something else.  Something I would rather not even consider much less have confirmed.  Ever so cautiously, I reach out with my mind, seeking.  I don't have to look long before I find it.

"Let him go, Phoenix."  And I hear low, mocking laughter in response.

Now, Charles.  You know me better than that.   What's mine stays mine.  And this man is most definitely mine.  See you soon.

With a chilling jolt, our connection is broken.  So much rage…so much power…and Scott caught in the middle of it.  No…not just Scott…my God…Rogue…

No.  No, he loves her.  Surely that's strong enough to overcome anything Phoenix may have him do. 

It has to be.

-x-

You took my everything

I'll take your dying breath

I can't feel anything but

I'll live to see you to your death

Don't ever back

 down

Don't ever turn around

My end has come

So I come for you 

            The End Has Come - The Punisher Soundtrack

Damn it, where the fuck did she get to?  If Storm hadn't stopped me outside the Danger Room, Marie and me would already have had our heart to heart and I'd be on my way outta here in time to meet Pippa at the airport.  Now I gotta go lookin' for her and be even later.

A movement up ahead catches my eye. No, not Marie.  But I need to talk to Sir Pansy-Ass anyway. 

"Hey Scott," I call out as the he brushes past me, comin' out of the Professor's office.  He's dressed for ridin'.  Hmmm.  "They were looking for you downstairs.  You didn't show."

He rounds on me with an irritated glare.  "What do you care?"

I put my hands on my hips to keep from guttin' the fucker and fight down the surge of annoyance that fires my blood at One-Eye's provokin' tone.  "Well, for starters I had to cover your ass."

"I didn't ask you to."

"No, you didn't."  I answer, taking a step closer to the Boy Scout On Steroids.  "The Professor did.  I was just passing through."

He sneers at me.  "So pass through, Logan."

"Hey, look," I start with a growl, and then quickly shift gears.  I told Jean once that I could be the good guy.  One-Eye is obviously goin' through some shit here.  And I owed it to Jean and Marie to be nice to the Anabolic Twerp.  "I know how it feels to care about one person while missin' another."

"Don't.  You can't possibly know how I feel right now."

Trying again, I reply, "When Jean died -"

"I said don't!" Cyke snarls at me.  "I don't ever want to hear anything you've got to say about Jean.  You slept with my fiancée knowing damn well how much she loved me.  How much I loved her.  And now you want to talk about it?  Fuck you, Logan.  I don't give a damn what you have to say!"

Okay that one threw me.  I mean, if I'da slept with Jeannie, I'd have damn sure known about it, right?  "What the fuck are you yammerin' about, Scooter?"

"Don't you dare deny it!  Everybody knows she crawled into your tent before you all arrived at Alkali Lake.  Everybody!"  He's barely able to contain himself; his hands look like they're itching to reach for his visor. Instead, he jerks his arm away from me and turns to leave.

"Well that everybody you're talkin' about don't include me.  That wasn't Jeannie who came sniffin' round my tent.  It was Mystique."

"I don't believe you."

My patience heads south at that point.  Bye-bye rational conversation.  "I don't give a shit what you believe.  I never have.  I do give a shit about what your wife thinks, though.  You've got everything you jackass.  You're married to Rogue, for fuck's sake," I growl angrily across the room loud enough for the whole place to hear me.  "I thought you'd have been over Jean by now."

Scott turned so that he was walking backwards and shrugged.  "Not everybody heals as fast as you, Logan." 

Hold it…he married my Marie while he still loves Jean?  Oh fuck no!  Growlin', I go after him, poppin' the claws free without a second thought.  "I'm not through with you, bub!"

Just as I grab him, he lifts a hand and barely taps the control to his visor.  Oh fuck.  Before I know what's happenin' I'm flyin' backwards through the hall to crash into the far wall, unable to breathe, my stomach on fire, and huh - how bout that.  I can see my ribs if I look down. Bloody metal…weird…getting' dark in here too…

"Heal that you son of a bitch.  And if you do…don't you ever touch me again."  He opened the front door and walked out, shutting it quietly behind him.

-x-

Lately, you and I haven't been talking
Lately, you and I were not connecting for real
You seem so far away distant and lost in a haze
Lately I've been doing much thinking
Wondrin' if it's a phase that you're going through
My love is here to stay but you are drifting away
Tell me
Is it over now
Between you and me

            Is It Over - Nina

Rogue hadn't found him in their room, in his office, the dining room, or the library.  Now she was searching the grounds, growing more worried by the second.  The state of their room alone was enough to send her anxiety levels ratcheting through the roof.  She'd found their quarters empty, curtains drawn, and the bed unmade, linens and blankets trailing over the edges and onto the floor.  He was a notoriously tidy and fastidious man, her husband.  So to leave their room in such a state was very telling.  Wherever he was, he'd left in a hurry.  And that worried her even more. 

Coming around the side of the rose garden, she spied Jubilee and Angel talking, even laughing a little.  She didn't like the idea of interrupting her two friends, but she was at her wits end, and overwhelming feeling of dread rising up in her chest, threatening to choke the breath from her.  Trying her damndest not to pay any attention to the words Bobby had said to her earlier, she hurried closer to where her friends were.

"Jubes?"

Jubilee turned, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her former roommate.  But as quickly as her smile came, it also went, seeing the look of near panic on her friend's face.  She reached out and latched on her sweater covered arms, pulling her closer to them.  "Rogue, what is it?"

Rogue gave them an apologetic, slightly self-effacing smile.  "Have either of you seen Scott?"

Her dark haired friend shook her head.  "No, chica.  Last I saw him was yesterday when we got back from our run."

Rogue nodded, remembering how hard it had been for Scott to settle down after the pickup of a mutant on the run.  From everything she'd learned from everyone involved, it had been a routine assignment.  For reasons he'd not divulged, Scott was overly hyped, very wired.  But whenever she asked him what was bothering him, he'd answered that he was fine.  And it had been sincere, not that brittle answer like something was wrong, yet he was reluctant to say so.

"I saw him headed in the direction of the garage about a half hour ago," Angel added.  "Have you tried there?"

Rogue gave a nervous laugh and a huge exhalation of breath.  She placed a nylon covered hand to her forehead in obvious relief.  "What an idiot.  No, I haven't.  I should have checked there first."  She shook her head.  "That man…" She cut herself off then looked up at them, a grateful smile lighting her face.  "Thanks guys."

"Chica, you want me to go with?"

Rogue shook her head.  "No, but thanks Jubes.  I'm sure everything's just fine."  She gave herself a shake and pasted on a bright smile.  "Scott's got a meeting with the parents of a prospective student at eleven-thirty.  Want to meet me for lunch?"

Jubilee nodded, her gaze speculative.  "Sure, Chica.  Sure.  Wouldn't miss it."

The two of them watched as Rogue walked briskly across the lawns back towards the garage, her head ducked down and her shoulders hunched against the chilly wind kicking up. 

"She gonna be okay?"

"I dunno.  Something about this just feels weird, ya know?"

Angel gave a non-committal humming sound, twisting his lips in thought as he watched their friend move farther away.  "Normally, I'd say no, but this time?  Yeah.  I agree with you."

"Warren," Jubilee said lowly, cutting her eyes at him for a brief second, "Go get the Wolvster."

The blonde nodded, a grim look to his features and went back inside while Jubilee followed Rogue from a distance, moving silently so her friend wouldn't know she was behind her.

Jubilee stopped just shy of the garage, close enough to overhear any conversation, but concealed behind a large juniper bush to keep from being seen.  She stood motionless, waiting for Warren and the Wolvster to catch up.

Oblivious to her shadow, Rogue laughed again in relief when she spotted him crouched by his Harley in the driveway near the garage.  Damn, I really should have checked here first.  What is wrong with me today?  "Scott?"

He stiffened then slowly pulled himself up to his full height.  Turning, he gave her a long look, devoid of emotion, before he spoke.  Then he smiled.  "Hey baby."

"Hey.  I was looking for you."

Seemingly oblivious to his off mood, she stepped in and pressed a brief kiss to his lips, hugging him tightly.  Normally, she didn't voluntarily kiss him bare skinned, but he seemed to really like it, despite the slight draw of her own mutation.  Her brow furrowed when she felt the stiffness in his muscles and the hesitance with which he returned her embrace.  Stepping back, but still close enough to touch him easily, she took a good look at him.

His hair was tousled and unkempt, looking like he'd just rolled out of bed, a look, that while she didn't object to, she knew he did.  He hadn't shaved today either.  His stubbled jaw had that belligerent set to it that she recognized as something was bothering him.  Her gaze swept over his lean frame, noting his manner of dress.  Leather motorcycle jacket, ratty jeans, an old T-shirt and riding boots. This wasn't like him.  Not on a day he had a full load of classes to teach and a meeting with parents.

She spied the keys in his hand, and the packed, battered duffle sitting on the pavement near the back of the bike.  Her eyes grew haunted.  "You going somewhere?"

The look on her face gnawed at him.  He propped a hand on his hip.  "Did you need me for something?"

She blinked; then her cheeks flamed red.  "You didn't come to the training session.  I was worried." 

He gave a deep sigh.  The muscle in his jaw twitched as he looked down at his boots.    "I'm okay, baby.  Just fine," he gritted the last through clenched teeth.

"Why don't I believe you?"

He lifted his head and stared her down.  "Okay, so I'm not.  We're not.  Nothing is fucking fine anymore."

--

The faint sound of movement behind her pulled her attention away from the unfolding drama playing out in the driveway.  She turned in time to see Logan walking up to where she stood and Angel dropping down gracefully out of the sky.  She waited until he folded up his wings before they both stopped a pissed off Wolverine.

"Outta my way Spark Plug."

"No, Logan," Angel answered.  "Now's not the time."  He pointed at the break in the bushes where the older man could easily see Rogue and Cyclops in the midst of an argument.

"You ain't enough to stop me, Fly-Boy."

Jubilee stepped in front of him, a distinct smell of ozone in the air surrounding her.  "No, but I am."  She dipped her eyes up and down his seething muscular frame.  "Nice bloody hole in your shirt, tall dark and scary," Jubilee snarked.  "Starting a new fashion trend?"

But it was Angel who replied.  "I found him healing up in a pool of blood and other…things…in the front hallway."  At her surprised look he continued, "Scott blasted a hole right through his middle.  And left him there."

Jubilee processed that for a minute.  Scott had never struck out at one of them.  Not even in severe anger and not willingly either.  He'd only done that once to her knowledge and even then it was against Jean while he was being controlled by Stryker.  She fought a hard shudder, forcing back images that still plagued her to this day from her time spent in the man's company.  She trained her thoughts back on the problem at hand. 

She cocked her head.  "He left you there?" 

Logan nodded, and they all shared a glance, the unspoken words hanging between them all.  Scott had left him in the hallway in a pool of his own blood.  To die. 

"Something is seriously dysfunctional here," she murmured, her attention pulled back to the couple in the driveway as her friend's voice rose in pitch.

--

Rouge backed up a pace, her confusion evident.  "Why are you so mad at me?"

"This…this thing…you and me," he moved his hand back and forth between them, "It never should have happened."

She sucked in a sharp breath, never seeing that coming, and looked like he had struck her.  "Don't say that, Scott."

--

"I'm gonna fuckin' gut him," Logan growled low, preparing to spring out from their hiding place.  But Jubilee's snarl stopped him.

"Not if I get to him first," she tensed her arms, plasma beginning to crackle between her fingers.

Angel put out both arms in front of them.  "Neither of you are gonna do a damn thing."  He stood firm in the face of Wolverine's continued low growls and glared back.  "Just what do you think you're gonna do, huh?  He's already blasted a hole through you once.  In this weird state of mind, there's no telling what he might do to Rogue.  You wanna chance that?  Huh?  Either of you?"

At their lowly grumbled 'no's,' Angel nodded.  "I thought not.  So stand here, shut up, and listen.  He's her husband.  She knows best how to handle him and if we interfere between them it could go badly for all of us."

They didn't answer, but did fall silent as they went back to watching the slow train wreck taking place in front of them.

--

His lips pressed together in a tight line.  "It shouldn't have.  When you came to my room that night, I shouldn't have let you in.  I should never have done that.  Not to you."

"I'm glad you did.  I've not regretted a single minute of our relationship.  Well, except for this morning.  I hate I had to get up so early, then maybe we'd still be up there," she bent her head in the direction of his window.

He felt shamed by her words, feeling the same way.  That he'd felt less like dying since she showed up in the middle of the night a year and a half ago.  That some part of him thought maybe he could learn to breathe again.  That he might eventually get through this with his sanity in tact.  That maybe, just maybe she'd be there waiting for him when he did. 

But he couldn't tell her that.  Not now.  There was no way that he could tell her what had happened to him this morning when he really couldn't explain it himself.

That he'd started hearing a voice calling his name. 

…Scott…

Jean's voice.

He'd stood it as long as he could, thinking it was just a guilty conscience for replacing Jean.  Giving his heart to another woman.  A woman he was responsible for.  One he loved…

…not like you loved me…

He winced, striving to ignore the voice in the back of his mind.  He'd tried to ignore it this morning too.  But when it kept calling him over and over, growing stronger with each passing moment, he knew it wasn't just in his head anymore.  He had to get out of here before it drove him insane.  He had to know for sure…for certain that she was really dead…she sounded so alive in his mind…

…Scott…I'm waiting for you…

"Honey?" 

He knew that voice…his wife's voice…he had to answer.  He put a fist to his temple, grimacing at the pain now throbbing behind his eyes.

"Honey, what's wrong?  Please.  Let me help you." 

She'd said that to him once before. 

…and look where it got you…married…to a woman you don't love…

But he did love her.  He did.  And she deserved better treatment than he was currently showing her.  Acting the way around her now, the way he wanted to, letting her know how much he did care, how much he appreciated what she'd done for him, would just hurt her worse in the long run.  If she knew where he was going…and why…it'd break her heart.  The though of it made him sick.  God, how had this happened? 

…you're not in any shape to be in another relationship… 

No, not after it was his fault that Jean had died.  If he'd just said something to the Professor when he'd had the chance.

…he can't help me now…only you can…

But his wife, he couldn't leave her.  He promised he wouldn't.  She loved him. 

…you have to make her hate you…stomp out that spark now before it grows into a fire and destroys us all... 

Yes…maybe that was the only way…

He came back to the conversation with a snapped, "How can we be okay after what I did to you?"

Rogue's brow furrowed, and she stamped her feet restlessly, trying to stave off the cold seeping into them.  "What you did?  The way I remember it, I was there by choice.  You didn't force me into anything.  Or to come back after that first night.  And you certainly didn't make me move in with you."

His lips twisted into an ugly sneer, one she'd never seen directed at her before.  It made her stomach drop.  "Oh, so that wasn't you that I had pinned against the wall, fucking you until you couldn't say anything but to cry for me not to stop?  You weren't the one that I made come so hard that your mouth was bloody from biting your lip to keep anyone from overhearing us?  You're sure that wasn't you?" 

He swept his gaze up and down her curvy frame.  "Because it damn sure looked like you."  He stepped forward, grasped her hip in one hand and pulled her to him, grinding his pelvis against hers.  "Felt like you last night, too."

Instead of pushing him away for his crass verbiage as he intended, she caught her noticeably swollen lip between her teeth and gave a little moan that turned into a whimper as she fisted her fingers into the sides of his leather jacket.  She raised glazed eyes to his.  "You know it was.  I chose to be there.  I wanted to be there.  With you.  I wanted you."  She shook the jacket a little to get his attention.  "I wanted you.  Don't you get it?  I love you, Scott."

He gave a bitter chuckle, but dropped the pretense of being indifferent and cruel.  It wasn't working anyway.  She knew him too well.  He couldn't treat her this way.  He just couldn't.  She meant too much to him. 

He gave her a deep sigh and genuine smile.  "You're the only one, you know.  The only one who doesn't tell me to get over it.  Or move on.  You just let me be an asshole to you and you take it, don't you?  What'd I ever do to have you love me like this?"

--

Jubilee snorted.  "Fuck if any of us know."

"Told you so," Angel smirked a little.

Logan grunted, still unconvinced Marie didn't need his help on this.  "Yeah, ya did.  Good for you.  Now shaddap."

--

Her angry look bled away into confusion.  "I'll give you whatever you need.  No strings attached.  I told you that our first night.  And I meant it.  I still do."

…you're weakening…

He gave a mental growl and pushed the voice back hard.  He snarled internally, I'm coming, but I'm going to do this my way!  I won't hurt her any more than I have to!  And amazingly enough, he felt the voice retreat.  Not go away completely, because it still hovered in the back of his mind, but it backed off enough for him to think without pain again.

"I know you do," he whispered, shifting his stance to lift his hand to her face.  He cupped her chin in his palm, letting her lean into it for a very brief moment before running his thumb down her cheek, only to catch her gloved hand in his.  "You deserve better."

Her eyes filled with tears.  "Don't."

"It's true."

She shook her head.  "No, it isn't."

"I can't do this, baby.  I've got to go."  Shoving the keys into his jacket pocket, he grasped her upper arms, and ran his palms gently up and down, unconsciously warming her.  "I can't love you the way a husband should.  Not while I'm…stuck…wherever it is that I am right now.  So much of who I was…who I am…is still wrapped up in Jean."

"Please don't do this," her voice was small and frightened.  She hooked her thumbs through the belt-loops on his jeans, keeping him close to her, allowing her fingers to move in random patterns over his denim clad hips.

He raised both hands to cradle her face between his hands, trapping her hair between his fingers and her cheeks.  "God, I don't want to hurt you.  That's the last thing I want to do.  You've done nothing but try to make it better.  To make me better."  He dropped his hands with a slight bit of difficulty, clenching and unclenching his fingers reflexively.  "But I've got nothing left to give back to you.  Not right now.  Not until I can put an end to this somehow.  Don't you see?  I'm lying at the bottom of that lake too.  All that's left of me here is an empty shell." 

She looked up into his face and could see that he believed what he said, whether she did or not.  She'd promised to give him whatever he needed.  And he needed to leave for a while.  She'd keep her word.  Sighing, she nodded.  Her voice wobbling, threatening more tears as she asked, "Are you coming back?"

He gave her a sad smile, pulled her forward and kissed her sweetly, although very briefly.  He pulled away, licking his lips, his sad smile still curving his mouth, before she could lean into him even more. 

"Of course, I am baby.  We're planning on a family someday, remember?  What kind of dad would I be if I'm not here?" he whispered, not knowing if he were telling the truth or not.  Just that he had to go.  He'd figure out coming back later.  "I just need to get away and get my head together.  I'll be back soon."

"You promise?"

"I promise."  His smile deepened in genuine affection for the woman in his arms.  "I'll be back in a few days and we'll talk.  We'll work this out.  Somehow.  I don't want to lose you.  I can't.  And I never wanted to hurt you like this.  You believe me, right?  Just…just hang in with me a little longer, okay baby?  Don't give up on me now."

"I won't."  She shook her head, her whole body shaking as a few tears fell over her lashes and rolled slowly down her cheeks. 

Scott gave a pained groan, like the sight of her tears caused him actual discomfort.  He tipped his head back, looking towards the sky as he pulled her closer, wrapping her in his arms, pressing her face against his leather clad shoulder.  He lowered his cheek to rest on the top of her head.  "I'm sorry.  God, I am so sorry.  Please don't cry."

"I can't help it.  I don't want you to go."

"I know," he sighed, adjusting his grip on her so he could thread his fingers through her hair.  "But I have to do this.  I have to know…to settle it or I'll…"

"It's okay," she cut him off, sniffing loudly.  "I know part of your heart will always belong to Jean.  I don't expect anything from you that you can't give, Scott."  She tipped her face up to stare into the red lenses of his ruby quartz visor.  "Just…just don't stay gone too long without letting me know how you are.  Okay?  You've got people who love you back here."

"I will," he vowed.  "And I think some of those folks back here who love me are pretty damn spectacular too."  With a bitter grin, he kissed her forehead, just a brief press of lips before he was moving away again.  "Take care of yourself, okay?  Don't let Logan work you too hard, because that'll just piss me off."  A positively sinister chuckle slipped out.  "I don't think he can take too many more direct blasts."

--

"Ya lyin' sack of shit," Logan growled.  "Bring it on, Pretty Boy.  And I'll show you exactly what the Wolverine can and can't handle."

Angel snickered softly and glanced down at Jubilee.  "Gimme fifty on Cyclops."

"I'm not taking that bet," Jubilee snarled lowly, her hate filled gaze trained on the man in question.  "His life isn't gonna be worth a plug nickel when I get done with his sorry ass."

"Always did like you, Spark Plug," Wolverine growled in approval.

--

Rogue's eyes crinkled in confusion as she wiped away a stray tear.  "What?"

Scott smiled sweetly at her.  "Nothing.  Just thinking out loud."

She nodded and gave a soft sound of protest as he released her and stepped over to his bike.  She picked up his duffle and passed it to him so he could secure it to the back of the motorcycle, then stepped away as he fired up the powerful machine.

He revved the motor for a moment, tapping the kickstand up into place with a booted heel.  He turned and looked at her one last time, and the regret was plain on his face for anyone to see.  "I'm coming back to you, baby." 

"I love you."

He winked at her then roared away.

She watched until he was completely out of her sight.  Only then did she turn woodenly away and wander slowly off in the same direction from where she'd come, feeling dead inside, almost like she'd never see him again.  With a muffled sob, she began to run.

--

"He…he can't do this to her!  He promised!" Jubilee hissed furiously unmindful of the tears rolling steadily down her cheeks.  Blinded by hurt for her friend, she raised both hands and extended them in the direction of the retreating motorcycle.

Angel's hand on her wrists stopped her from releasing the plasma blasts bound to knock Scott into the middle of next week.  "Jubes, no."

"Let me go, damn it!"

But the striking X-Man just shook his head sadly at her.  "No, Jubilee.  She let him go.  You have to, too."

Staring up at him, her dark eyes filled with tears then spilled over.  "He promised, Warren.  He stood up there in front of God, the Professor, all of us and promised her he'd not do this.  Forsaking all others, remember?  And last I checked that all included Jean Fuckin' Grey!  Jesus H. Christ!  The woman's dead and she still manages to make Rogue miserable!"

A blood chilling snarl sounded behind her.  "I'm not gonna let you talk like that about Jeannie.  Whatever your issues are with her, she was a good woman - "

She turned furious eyes on Logan.  "The hell she was!"

A violent roar erupted from Logan's chest as his claws shot out.  Immediately Jubilee's hands came up, a red ball of energy pulsing evilly on each one.  "Just try it, Wolvie, and I'll light you up like next Christmas!"

"Now you listen to me, ya rotten little -"

"No!"  Jubilee shouted back.  "You listen for a fucking change!  You weren't here, Logan!  You have no idea what you did to Rogue when you took off after promising to take care of her!  You abandoned her to a bunch of horny teenage boys who don't get that no means no much less that poison skin hurts her as much as it hurts them!"

"Jubliee."  Angel tried to stop her, but she advanced on Logan, caught up in the emotions of the moment.

"You deserted her right after a metal-bending lunatic succeeded in killing her - or have you just forgotten about that?"  Angry beyond rational thought, she poked a finger in his chest, her lip curling at the sizzling sound it made when the digit came in contact with his skin.  She hoped it hurt like hell.  "It's no wonder she turned to Scott after he offered her comfort when the nightmares started.  She didn't have anybody else!  And you wanna know what she got for that?  She got a manipulative psychotic bitch who got her jollies on making Rogue's life absolute hell whenever she could!"

Surprised by her verbal attack, he retracted his claws and stood his ground glaring at her as he listened to things he never expected to hear about his Marie and her life with the X-Men early on.  "She never said anything…"

Jubilee threw her hands into the air, not noticing the multicolored sparks shooting off the ends of her fingers in her anger.  "What the fuck did you expect her to say Logan?  No, I'm not happy here because the woman you love is a fuckin' fruitcake and likes to use me as her own personal psychic punching bag?"

"If it was that bad," Logan growled, "then why the hell did she stay?  Why didn't she just run away again, huh?  Tell me that!"

"Because she loved you, you bastard!  She thought the sun rose and set in your adamantium ass!  Every time she had taken all she could and was about to run, you showed back up and everything would be okay.  Until you'd leave and then it started all over again.  Only when her friendship with Scott started to grow did your little Miss Precious back off.  Not much but enough to let Rogue breathe a little."  Jubilee gave an ugly laugh laced with contempt.  "She started flirting hard with you, twitching her ass at you every time you showed up, intentionally luring you away from Rogue.  But she never even saw that at the same time she was pushing Scott away from her.  It's poetic justice that they ended up together, if you ask me."

Logan's mind reeled with everything Jubilee had just dumped on him.  Half of it he knew he'd discard later as the ravings of an emotional young woman incensed for her friend.  But some things just couldn't be ignored.  Like how Marie had never said anything to him about what was really going on with her.  How had he missed that?

"I had no idea…"

"Yeah, well, and you were never supposed to either.  If she'd wanted to you to know, she'd have said something to you herself."  Jubilee sniffed loudly and raked the back of her hand under her nose.  "And while I don't wish death on anyone, personally, I'm happy as fuck Madam Perfection is at least not here anymore.  Hell I might even throw a long overdue party!"

"That's a little harsh, Jubes."  Angel shook his head, seemingly unphased by the tempers boiling around him.  "Not good to speak ill of the dead."

"Get stuffed, Warren," she snarled at him.  "Aren't you just a little sick and tired of Rogue getting shit on continually by the men in her life who're supposed to love and protect her?  I swear to God I certainly am.  If there's any justice in this world, karma like a boomerang is gonna rack Cyclops up for this one."

"Jubes!"

"Yeah, well, Karma's a bitch and so am I.  I hate that sonofabitch right now.  I swear to God I do."  Her eyes flashed as she tossed a glare in Wolverine's direction.  "And you're not very high on my list of good guys right now either.  So hows about you stay the fuck away from me, huh?"

Logan just stared after her as she stalked away from them, his eyes wide, his anger beginning to dissipate.  Spark Plug had never talked to him like that before.  Sad part was, he couldn't disagree with her.  On anything she'd said.  He didn't want to believe that guff about Jeannie…but he knew she had that in her.  Her darkness called to his, and he tried to make it a point not to lie to himself. 

So he couldn't say she wasn't capable of it.  He hadn't been there to see how everyone he trusted to take care of Marie while he was gone actually treated her.  And if he were really honest with himself, he'd never dug too deep to find out if things were as good as she'd always told him they were either.

Spark Plug was definitely right in what she'd said last.  All the men she'd ever known, they'd all let Marie down.  In one way or another.  Himself included.  He couldn't even be the hero this time for her because he was just as guilty as all the rest.

"She didn't mean that," Angel started in apology.

-x-

It's pretty cold for late September
And autumn wind is creepin' in
The summer sun packed up it's long gone
There's a whole lot of leavin' goin' on
I close my eyes and picture your hand in mine
I still hear your voice that takes me back to that time
Where I can find a reason to be strong
Seems like lately there's a whole lot of leavin' goin' on
Close the window draw the curtains
You ain't the only one here hurt
No one's right no one's wrong
Lately there's a whole lot of leavin' goin' on

            Whole Lot of Leavin' - Bon Jovi

It has been over a week now since he left.  He promised her he would come back.  Only, he has not.  And I am beginning to think he will not.

Everyone seems to have forgotten about Scott.  No one has even asked about him.  Where he has gone.  How long he will be away.  If he is coming back.  It is like he never existed, much less was their team leader for years.  No one seems to remember him at all or even care.  No one but her.

Judging by her actions, it is apparent that she does not believe he is coming back either.  She keeps to herself now, barely eating or sleeping.  We have all become her shadow, keeping an eye out on her.  Today it is my turn - a duty I perform gladly.  She is just wasting away before my eyes.  It is almost like she is in mourning, only, as best we know, Scott is fine.  He is just not…here.

"Skulking around in hallways again, are you?"

The voice pulls me out of my thoughts.  "No.  I am watching over a friend."

He looks around me and at the open office door outside which I am sitting and narrows his gaze at me.  "She's not in there."

"I know.  But she will return shortly."

He folds his arms and glares at me.  I am unimpressed.  "What's going on here?"  Then he laughs.  "You hoping to console her while the hubby's away?"

I smile, making sure he gets an excellent view of my very pointed teeth.  I do not like this young man's insinuations.  "I am a friend.  A concerned friend.  Something I would expect you to understand."

"Concerned?" he scoffs.  "What's to be concerned about?  She being a bitch again?"

I suddenly have the overwhelming urge to spring upon him.  Sadly, such impulses are not easily controlled and I soon find myself pinning him to the wall by his throat.  "You will not speak of her in such a disrespectful manner." 

He pushes me away from him without difficulty, as I really had no desire to stay so close to him.  He is glaring at me now, like he would love to do me injury.  "What the hell is wrong with you, man?!"

I cannot contain my anger any longer.  "You threw her away like she was nothing. She is not nothing.  She is one of the most wonderful, special women in the world.  And you are a fool!"

"You're in love with her," he whispers, surprise lighting his eyes.  Then they darken as his glare grows more hostile. 

"Nein.  I am not.  She is my friend only.  Something I do not have in abundance, and as such, something about which I care greatly."

"So what's going on that you're following her everywhere now?  You know she won't put up with that for long.  And don't let her fool you.  She may look delicate and fragile.  But she's not."  He rubs a spot on his ribs.  "She packs a hell of a punch when she wants to."

"Delicate of the body, perhaps not.  But her heart is fragile and now broken.  And I fear what will happen now if no one helps her." 

"So why don't you go talk to her or something."

I shake my head.  "I have tried.  She does not hear me."  I think for a moment, then ask, "Perhaps she will listen to you?"

"You're barking up the wrong tree there."  He snorts in derision.  "She won't give me the time of day." 

"Someone must try.  She is dying, from the heart outward.  And I cannot save her this time," I say, thinking of that time in the jet.

He looks at me with something akin to pity in his eyes.  I straighten my shoulders and stare back.  Let him pity me.  If it keeps her alive, then so be it.

"Okay, Kurt," he says as he pats me on the shoulder.  "I still say I'm the wrong choice.  Let me see if she'll talk to Jubes or Angel."

-x-

What do you think
I would give at this moment
If you'd stay
I'd subtract twenty years from my life
I'd fall down on my knees
and kiss the ground that you walk on
If I could just hold you again

            At This Moment - Billy & The Beaters

Jubes and Angel have made themselves suspiciously scarce so I guess it's up to me to try and talk some sense into her.  But by the time I get back down to her office, Kurt's gone and her office is locked up tight.  I really don't wanna do this, but go upstairs and I find her in her room. 

I know she's married to the guy and all but Cyclops?  And Rogue?  Oh how fucked up can you get?  Her and Scott…a couple.  Even though they've been doing the husband and wife thing for a while now, I still can't wrap my brain around that.

He's using her.  He's gotta be.  Everyone knows he's unbalanced since Jean died.  And if the rumor mills are even half right it's just gotten worse lately.  Honest to God, if he's gonna treat her this way, I hope to hell he stays gone.  "You need to get up."

"Go away, Bobby." she mumbles, her face buried in the pillow.

"I'm not going anywhere until you get up, get some decent clothes on," I say, taking in the battered T-shirt that says Emotionally Unavailable which had definitely seen better days; I don't even think it's hers.  Come to think of it, it is too big on her and I could have sworn I've seen….ah, shit.  She's wearing his shirts now.  That alone makes me wanna yak.

"All right, that's it.  You've got to get the hell out of this room.  You can't stay in here forever."  That truly absurd thought makes me laugh.  I watch her face and my laughter dies away.  It's like she's listening, but not to me.

Boy or girl?

One of each maybe?

Oh yeah, I like that.  A little girl with her mother's eyes. 

As long as she doesn't get my skin, I'm happy with that.  You're sure about this?  Starting a family so soon?

Why not?  What are we waiting for? Unless you're not sure…

A little nervous maybe but sure, yes.  And I definitely like how you go about starting that family.  I could stay in here like this forever.

Heh-heh…maybe not forever, but long enough, definitely.

Something's seriously wrong with her.  She's grimacing like she's in pain and clutching the pillow over her ears.  "Rogue?"

"Maybe I can stay in here forever," she answers, rolling her face out of the pillow, but she doesn't look at me.  She seems to be looking out of the window.  And her voice is breathy, and vacant.  Like she's talking more to herself than she is to me.  "I have nowhere else to go." 

That one stops me for a moment.  I don't get what she's saying.  And honestly, I don't want to either.  I promised Kurt I'd try so I'll try.  But that's it.  I reach for her.  "Come on, Rogue.  Time to rejoin the land of the living." 

She jerks her whole body away from me, scrambling backwards across the bed, digging deeper into the unmade sheets.  "Don't touch me!  Don't fuckin' touch me!"  A low menacing growl comes from her as she bares her teeth at me, and her voice dips down a couple of octaves, making it sound like something straight out of a horror flick.  "I swear to God, I'll gut you if you so much as lay a fuckin' finger on me."

I get a really good look at her then.  She's on all fours on the mattress, glaring hatefully out at me through a curtain of snarled white and sable hair.  She's dropped at least ten or fifteen pounds since I saw her last week.  She's got dark circles under her eyes, and I swear there's not a trace of the woman I know in them.  She looks more animal than human at the moment.  Almost…almost like Wolverine is looking back at me through her eyes.  An unhinged Wolverine. 

Okay that's just fuckin' creepy.

I didn't expect her to open up to me and pour out all her troubles, but there's no way in hell I thought I'd be facing this…this…whatever this is.  This is beyond me.  Really.  I'm not equipped to deal with this shit.  I don't know how. 

But I think I might know who can, if he'll put his own shit aside long enough to try.  That is, if he'll even listen to me.  "I'm going to go get you some help."

More than a little afraid, I watch her roll over and curl into a tight ball in the middle of the bed, pulling in on herself.  "No one can help.  The only one who could is gone.  And he didn't love me enough to stay anyway."

Something about the way she said that send a bad feeling through my gut.  It's almost like she knows something we don't.  But I don't comment on her nearly silent whisperings.  I head for the door, calling back over my shoulder as I leave, "Get some rest.  I'll be back soon."

"Just go, Bobby," comes the nearly inaudible response from the bed.

I sigh heavily and close the door behind me as I start down the hallway.  Only one person can help her now.  I just hope we all didn't wait too late. 

I can't stand by and do nothing.  Because even though we're not as close as we once were, even though she never felt the same for me as I did for her, I can't stand idly by and not help her.  Okay, so I still have feelings for her, regardless of my relationship with Kitty.  Hell, there isn't one.  I knew that was a fuckup of monumental proportions the minute I did it.  She and I didn't last even a full two days.  Kitty knew I still loved Rogue, even if I did cheat on her.

And the fact that Rogue doesn't care about me hurts like hell sometimes and that's my own fault.  I know that.  I fucked up our relationship.  Not her.  

But if I don't do something to help her now, whether she likes it or not, she's going to waste away into nothing.  And the last thing I want is a world without her in it. 

Before I can get all the way down the stairs, something like a sonic wave streaks through the mansion, leaving no one untouched, nothing undisturbed.  Out of no where, I'm cold.  Colder than I've ever been in my life, and for me, that's saying something.  My fingers and toes ache with it, and I can barely move.  And just as suddenly as it came, it's gone, leaving an uncomfortable numbness in my limbs, and an inhuman, other-worldly moaning in its wake.

"What the hell was that," I whisper aloud to Jubilee who's standing at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me.  I'm feeling breathless like someone had just punched me, knocking all of my wind out of me. 

Jubilee just shakes her head, her eyes wide.  Blank, yet frightened faces and eyes stare back at us from those other people in the hall.  They have no answers either.

Then we hear the scream over the slowly fading moaning sound.  A keening.  A wail of rage and pain so deep and so tortured that it makes my chest clench, the breath freezing in my lungs, as a cold terror grips me.  The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. 

"Was that -"

I nod, feeling sick as I recognize the voice as well as the direction it came from.  Upstairs.  Their room.  She's screaming Scott's name.  It's echoing through the house like a death knell.   And I've suddenly got a very bad feeling about our Fearless Leader.

Not even really aware that I'd turned around, Jubilee and I are taking the stairs two and three at a time even as Wolverine and Storm race past us headed for the Professor, no doubt.  Wolverine had been my original destination.  But now there's only one thought on my mind.  Jubilee's too.  Only one thing either of us give a damn about.

"Rogue…”

~fin for now~

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