• This chapter was inspired by a discussion on one of the many groups I belong to.  Ha, now you’re all going to start wondering what else I might pilfer?  Be afraid, be very afraid.  This is just a different perspective on what some folks do on a traditional US holiday.
• Evil is as evil does.
• Will Mike ever take anyone’s advice?
• What is it about kitchens and the Batista’s?
• This is a long one folks, so if you get bored easily, just skip this one.  You’ll miss some sex, humor and background, but hey.  That’s totally up to you.
• I never have cool titles for my chapters as I work on them.  If I was silly, I’d almost feel self conscious about that. This one’s working title was Thursday.

Feedback: always appreciated! In other words, yes please.  It let’s the voices in my head know they’ve been heard.

It's so damn easy, when your feelings are such
To overprotect her, to love her too much
And my mind goes back to a girl I left some years ago
Who told me,
Just Hold On Loosely, but don't let go
If you cling too tight babe,
you're gonna loose control
Your baby needs someone to believe in
And a whole lot of space to breathe in

Don't let her slip away
Sentimental fool
Don't let your heart get in her way
yeah, yeah, yeah,

            Hold On Loosely - .38 Special 

Pulling the binoculars away from her grinning face, she continued to watch the couple get into his truck.  Unable to contain her glee as the man helped the woman in to the large truck in an overly familiar way, she cackled out loud.  She’d made note of the large man previously, but wasn't sure.  Now she could guess that the man in the jeans, cowboy boots and snug shirt meant something to the hated woman.  Even better, she thought.  She watched them drive off and checked the time, knowing she didn’t have much to spare if she was going to make it to work on time. 

Carrie risked a glance at the man behind the wheel.  He seemed to have put their last argument behind him.  Carrie was a little confused by Mike’s request today because he usually went shopping by himself, but he asked her if she wanted to go with him when he went to the huge warehouse store.  She usually went to the monstrous beacons of consumerism for small things, not the huge buckets of food they were famous for selling.  Looking over at him as he drove to the warehouse and seeing his smile confirmed that the weirdest things made him happy.  This seemed to be another one to add to the list, shopping at a huge warehouse that was guaranteed to be packed with people.   

He sensed her gaze and asked, “You okay, Babe?” 

“Yeah, just thinking,” was the response, because it was true. 

He nodded, concentrating on traffic leading into the always crowded parking lot.  She saw that her idea of a crowded store was right on judging by the parking lot.  Mike parked the truck in one of the few available spaces left, almost all the way back to the exit of the parking lot.  He was still smiling as he shut the truck off and turned to her.  She thought he’d lost his mind. 

“This is gonna be so much fun, just wait,” he said leaning and kissing her. 

She opened her lips and deepened the kiss, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck.  She raked her nails along his hair line.  He groaned and wrapped his fingers in her hair.  She felt his breathing quicken as she dug her nails in. 

“Babe,” he breathed pulling away from her with his hands in her hair. 

She met his eyes and smiled, but stayed quiet in response to his unspoken question.  She wanted to show him what she thought might be more fun than being at a crowded stored with zillions of people.  She almost had him convinced, but his brain kicked in and he stopped her fun.  Damn. 

“Later, Babe.  First we’ve got some shopping to do,” he said smiling and opening the door.  He stepped out and turned to help her down from the cab of the truck.  She didn’t need his help.  She could jump down since she was in her favorite jeans and t shirt, so no worry about her supposed modesty, but she knew he liked helping her so didn’t raise a stink.  Plus he had very nice hands and it was always good to have him touch her.  A naughty chuckle escaped in spite of her attempt to stifle it.  Mike quirked a brow, reaching for her hand for the half mile walk to the entrance of the warehouse. 

“Why is it so crowded,” she asked him.   

Millions of ants were running in and out of the entrance or so it appeared to her.  It looked like it was going to be mildly unpleasant with the crowds.  Who was she kidding?  It looked like it was going to give her a major headache within the first five minutes. 

“It’s getting to be that time of year, honey.  People are shopping for all their holiday things,” he reminded her as he looked at the top her head, as usual.  She frowned but looked up at him and tried to smile. 

She heard his words and she realized she hadn’t told him of her plans for Thursday.  Damn it, this whole relationship thing and living together was still new and she struggled with trying to maintain her independence.  She stayed quiet as they walked up to the entrance.  Mike detoured from the entrance to grab a huge shopping cart.   

“Not sure if this will be enough.  I might have to ask you to come get another one later,” he said seriously, guiding one of the oversized carts.  The place was packed, she saw.  

“I hope you’re joking,” she snorted.  He shook his head at her and winked.   

Once they made it past the entrance and all the confusion, they slowed to a crawl because of the crowds.  She knew it.  She should have brought in her player so she could drown out the noise.  She stayed right beside him and the huge cart as they navigated the crowds.  He seemed to have an idea of where he was going.  She didn’t so she held on to his arm. 

As they navigated the crowds, Carrie became aware of the looks and confusion they caused.  She saw it happen many times when she traveled with David, but didn’t realize it happened to Mike for whatever reason.  She was used to being with the boys and the crowd they usually attracted when in public, but she didn’t usually go out in to a huge crowd like this with Mike.  People looked at him, looked at her and stepped aside for the over sized man.  Carrie had the idea that maybe some of the confusion was people trying to figure out if they should know him or something, due to his size. 

“Is it always like this,” she asked as the crowd parted for him again. 

“Usually," Mike smiled.  “Sometimes it’s even worse because people think I must be a football player or something so they ask me for my autograph.  A few times people have gotten pissed when I tell them I'm just a normal guy,” he said, grabbing her hand to pull her out of the way of an over full cart driven by a harassed appearing woman.  

She lifted a brow in question, dodging a young child crying and waving his hands because he wasn’t going to be getting whatever he thought he needed.  Was she ready for that shit, she worried again.  Was she sure it was a little boy this time?  Last time she had been mistaken and embarrassed herself in front of the proud mom.  

"I guess they can't believe just a regular guy likes to work out,” Mike asked with a shrug. 

She smiled at his words.  She never thought of him as a regular guy.  She had a quick thought of what his clients must think when they meet him.  He certainly didn't look like any financial analysts she knew, regular guy or not. 

He forgot that they were still new to each other.  It seemed like he'd been with her forever, or at least his heart had been hers for longer than he had admitted until recently.  Just wait until they go Christmas shopping.  It’s even worse then.  Lisa hated to go out in public with him for every day stuff like shopping.  But if they were out and it wasn’t inconvenient to be ‘seen’ she’d lap it, he remembered with disgust. 

She was tired and knew how full Thursday promised to be, so she needed to make sure the rest of her shit was done before.  She had a lot of things she needed to do and check on before Thursday.  She stayed quiet reviewing what needed to do before then.  

He cut through her thoughts as he asked her, "You like pumpkin pie?"   

Now was the time to say something.  She braced herself for his disappointment. 

"No, not really.  Why?  What are you doing Thursday," she said quietly, waiting for her words to sink in. 

"We're going to my folks because they have the biggest house and my sister and Tony are gonna be there.  So's Grandma Adams."  He stopped as he finally registered what she'd said.  "What do you mean, what am I doing?  Don't you mean what are we doing?" 

"No.  I know what I'm doing.  I just forgot to tell you, that's all," she said quietly and shrugged.   

She hated confrontations, particularly in public.  Her childhood was riddled with them, so she always tried to avoid them.  She watched his brows rise at her news, his lips tighten, and saw his pulse quicken at his temple as his temper reared up. 

"What part of we don't you understand, Carrie?  I thought we talk about things?  We share things, we keep each other informed of our plans?" his voice raised to match his temper as the last of his words dropped from his irritation tightened lips. 

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes before she replied. 

"Just because we're a we as you call it doesn't mean we're joined at the hip" she said quietly but her irritation was also evident. 

"What?!"  He was stunned at her, stunned at her words.  Damn it, he thought they got this shit all straightened out. 

"Why would I want to spend my entire day surrounded by food?  Food that I can't or won't eat and have to make nice conversation about why I'm not eating," she said in reference to Thursday. 

"Is that what you think Thanksgiving is?  Just eating?  There's a lot more to it than that, Babe.  A lot," he said quietly as he tried to get his temper back in control. 

She waved his words away with," You tell me there isn't a shit load of food and at least half the day is spent stuffing yourself silly?"   

He shook his head and then nodded, because she was partly right.  But food was only a small part of the equation. 

"Of course there's food," he said impatiently.   

He guided the cart and her to a corner to continue their discussion.  He bent down slightly to talk to her because he knew she hated to be reminded that he towered over her.   

"But it's about being together, enjoying family, being thankful for what you have.  Aren't you thankful, Carrie?  You have a lot in your life to be thankful for," he said as he met her eyes.   

He was envisioning having to tell his grandma why Carrie wasn't with him.  He knew she was going to be pissed, pissed at him most likely. 

"Don't try and guilt me into it, Mike.  That shit won't work with me.  I have a tradition of my own for Thanksgiving.  I just forgot to tell you about it.  I also don't remember you asking me to go on Thursday.  If you had, I would have told you sooner," she said quietly as she folded her arms across her chest to keep her temper in check.   

She knew people were staring at them.  Their voices weren't raised but they were standing in a corner talking and not shopping.  They weren't going with the flow of the shoppers and it was causing some consternation amongst the rest of the shopping sheep. 

"Damn it woman!  You're impossible," Mike blew up. 

He grabbed the cart and pushed it to the meat coolers, knowing he needed to cool off more than the meat did.  He assumed she was following since she didn't know where and what he needed to get.  After picking up the right size and cut of roast, he turned to make sure she was with him and found that he was by himself.  Damn it.  Where the hell did she go this time?  He guessed that she was wandering around the store and would find him when she was ready.  He continued on with his shopping, since he knew he had a ton of stuff to buy for Thursday and the ensuing weekend.  He had hoped it was going to another thing that they could enjoy together and start to build their own memories, but it didn’t look like it.  How could he get through to her that Thanksgiving was way more than just food?  

His cart was finally full and he stuffed his large list away.  Wheeling slowly toward the checkout, he saw her curly head veer towards him in line.  He smiled at her as she walked up, knowing that snarling would just antagonize.  He was learning, albeit sometimes painfully.  She concentrated on maintaining her calm walking up to him, because she knew he wasn’t going to be happy with the news. 

“Mike, there’s just no way I can change my plans to suit you.  I made some calls and I have to follow through.  No way around it,” she said quietly and looked down at the shiny cement floor, certain that another display of temper was coming.   

“Damn it.  What’s so damned important that you don’t want to spend the day with me and my family?”   

She remained silent in the face of his irritation.  Her silence and refusal to answer his simple question caused his control on his temper to snap.  

“Why are you being so damned selfish?  Am I not important enough to you?  Are we not important enough to you?  You think it’s no big deal?  I thought you’d want to spend the day with my family since you don’t have one.”   

He glared at her at he bit off each phrase.   

“I guess I don’t want to share my family with you if you’re going to be so damned selfish,” he finished with his voice raised to match his temper. 

He recognized that those around him heard his small tirade but he was too pissed to give a shit.  She looked up into his eyes as he vented and she winced at the start of it.  By the time he had let all it all out, her chin was raised and her lips were clamped shut, but her eyes were snapping with unvoiced anger.  He was too wound up to notice. 

“I’m leaving,” her voice was barely above a whisper.  Without another word she turned on her heel, walking away.   

He blinked his confusion and watched her walk out the big doors.  She’d just wait for him by his truck.  That’d give both of them time to cool down.  But she wasn’t anywhere near his truck as he wheeled his full cart out to it.  He looked around the huge lot and didn’t see her anywhere.  He loaded the boxes of groceries into the back of his truck, wheeled the cart back and got into his truck.  It wasn’t until he sat alone in his truck that worry set in.  Worry for her safety, worry where she might be, worry at what might happen to her.  After his initial worry set in, he realized some of the things he’d said, the look on her face as he said them.  What the hell happened to his maturity?  He thought he was done being childish and yelling, but that was exactly what he’d done…again. 

He flipped open his phone and called home, hoping she’d found a way to get there before him.  No answer.  Try her cell, no answer but he wasn’t surprised by that.  If she was pissed, she wasn’t going to answer his call.  But if she was hurt, she couldn’t answer his call - another worry.  He started up his truck and drove slowly home, scanning the roads and sidewalks for any sign of her.  He pulled into his parking spot, knowing he had to get the food out of the back of his truck and maybe she just needed some more time.  By the time he’d unloaded all the boxes, put all the food away and dealt with most of the garbage and he still hadn’t heard from her, he started to get alarmed.  He was just getting ready to call Kris then Wease when he heard the key turn in the front door lock.  He looked up from the last of stashing away of food as she walked in.  She met his gaze without a smile and walked into her office and shut the door. 

At least she’s home.  He turned on her electric kettle to heat some water for her tea as he started dinner.  He was hoping that’d help pave the way.  He’d said some shitty things and he didn’t know how to take any of it back.  When he used to fight with Lisa, he said shitty things to her all the time, but she didn’t care.  She said shittier things to him.  It seemed that he almost expected her to try to one up him in their arguments.  None of it mattered, to either of them.  But it mattered to him with Carrie.  And her reaction told him it mattered to her, no matter what she said. 

He was still pissed and hurt that she wasn’t going to be spending Thanksgiving with him and his family, but he had to let her be her own person and do her own thing.  On the drive home he remembered one of the other things ‘Taker had told him weeks ago.  He heard him at the time, but didn’t give it any credence because he was more worried about just getting her back home.  He had told him to hold on loosely, just like the old .38 Special song.  No matter how much he wanted to hold on tight, he needed to learn how to hold on loosely, even if it felt unnatural to him.  This was definitely one of those times.  Who knew it could be this fucking hard?  Then he remembered.  His mom knew.  She’d tried to tell him that it got harder, but it was also worth it.  Of the last part, he had no doubt.  Of his ability to survive to be able to enjoy it, he definitely had his doubts. 

Pouring the heated water on her tea bag in her Eeyore mug, he wondered if Dave went through this shit.  He and Kris really seemed to have their shit together now, but did they go through this in the beginning?  Maybe he’d ask his buddy.  He grimaced, maybe not.  He hated admitting he didn’t know what the fuck was going on in his life.  But, if he had to do it all over again, he would have chosen to spend the rest of his life with her.  No question or hesitation, he just had to figure her out better or start taking some medication or something.  Drinking?  Nah, he wasn’t very good at that.  He just needed to try to get her to talk to him more so he could figure out how not to screw up as often.  As he finished making her tea, he realized he should go to the gym this evening.  That was part of his problem today.  He hadn’t beat the holy hell out of himself yet today and he knew he definitely needed to. 

He walked to her closed office door and knocked, speaking quietly, “Babe, I have tea for you.” 

He turned the knob and opened her unlocked door.  He was relieved that she hadn’t locked it, but then she never had before.  She hadn’t turned around yet, but she nodded to let him know she heard him.  She was on the phone and her computer screen was filled with numbers and prices and all kinds of other shit he didn’t normally see her study.  He frowned as he looked closer.  It looked like part numbers and prices, prices for different quantities.  That was something he understood, very well.  He stayed and waited for her to be finished on the phone before he told her about dinner.  Her side of the conversation consisted mainly of affirmatives and a few expletives, some he didn’t know she used.  He was learning more all about her the time. 

“Okay, tomorrow it is.  Thanks and I’ll talk to you later.  Bye,” she said pressing the tiny button on her ear bud.  She turned her chair around, seeing him and the mug he held for her. 

“Thanks,” she said quietly as she took the offered mug and flicked her eyes up to his.   

She brought the mug to her lips and sipped.  She tried hard not to grimace at the fucking green tea, because she was cold and was grateful for something hot to drink. 

“Carrie, I,” was all he got out before she held up her hand and stopped him. 

“Mike, I don’t want to talk about it.  Not today, not right now,” she said quietly.  She wasn't ready to argue with him again, not tonight.  He let out the breath he’d been holding and nodded. 

“Dinner will be ready in about half an hour,” he said turning to leave. 

“Um, thanks but I’m not hungry.  I’ll grab something later,” she said as her attention was back on her computer.   

He gritted his teeth at her comment and continued out into the kitchen.  Fuck it, he just needed to grab his shit and go to the gym.  On his way back down the stairs with his gym bag in hand, he stuck his head in her door and saw she hadn’t moved but was now looking at a report of some kind and rubbing her eyes.  He almost dropped his shit right there so he could help her, but stopped himself.  She said she wasn’t ready, not tonight. 

“Babe, I’m going to the gym.  I didn’t go earlier and I apologize.  There’s plenty of food to snag if you get hungry before I come back.  I’ll be gone a while, I need to work on legs and back today,” he finished.   

She had turned at his voice and listened to him.  Once he finished, she nodded her understanding and he left. 

She waited to hear the door close behind him before she jumped up to check that he’d really left.  Once she was sure, she left out a deep breath and dropped to the couch.  How did other couples do it?  Was it always going to be this fucking hard?  How was she supposed to live with him and still be her own person?  She knew he didn’t understand her or her reasons about Thursday, and she wasn’t ready to tell him.  How long was it going to take for her to finally tell him some of the stuff?  She was certain he’d be revolted and not want to have anything to do with her, so she kept it all tucked away.  But today was one of those days where it almost…where she almost let it all fly and consequences be damned.  No one would understand, no matter what Kris said or Wease told her.  They were family and that was different.  Plus they lived it with her. 

Fuck it, she thought grabbing the phone.  It was her turn.  She grabbed a bowl and was scooping out some ice cream as she waited for Kris to answer.  After four rings the machine kicked on and she left a goofy message, guaranteed to make Kris laugh. 

She took her bowl of ice cream and sat on the couch to enjoy it.  Shit, now she was cold.  She grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and flung it over her, praying for some warmth.  In a way, she was kind of glad Kris wasn’t home.  She wouldn’t have known what to say to her other than I’m a confused idiot who treats Mike like he’s a piece of shit and why do I always seem to do that?  Now that she got that out even though it was just to herself, she felt better temporarily.  Everything was settled for Thursday so she could relax tomorrow because the day after would be busy and tiring.  Monday, she and David were flying out to Australia and New Zealand for some press stuff.  She had heard whisperings that Christy was still penciled in on the trip too.  Not what she wanted to hear at all.  All in all, a busy week ahead. 

Mike came back several hours later, feeling a hell of a lot better since he had been able to find some inner peace after today’s shopping fiasco.  He dropped his bag in the pantry, by the washer and looked in the fridge to see if Carrie’d eaten anything.  It didn’t look like it.  No lights were on, but if she was in her office, they wouldn’t be on out here.  He stopped on his way to her office, spotting a lump on the couch.  A lump covered in a blanket.  The lump looked like she was sound asleep.  He saw the bowl on the table in front of her and grabbed it, waling back to the kitchen.  What the fuck was that?  Oh no, she didn’t.  Yeah, it looked like she ate ice cream for dinner.  Damn it, he should have stayed long enough to make her something.  He was okay, he’d stopped at a restaurant for dinner.  He wanted to give her some more time and he wanted to eat a full meal without having to cook it.  He’d be spending enough time in the kitchen in the next two days without adding making tonight’s dinner to the list. 

He looked at her under the blanket, curled up into a small bundle.  He was always amazed that she could sleep all wadded up like that but she did.  He bent down and gently picked her up.  She woke up instantly and swung hard.  It happened faster than he thought possible.  One second he was picking her up, the next minute he was on his ass, watching the world tilt on him.  She woke up as she landed back on the couch. 

“Mike?  What are you doing on the floor,” she asked as she rubbed her eyes.  What she saw didn’t make sense.  He was on the floor, looking like he’d been hit by a truck. 

“Um, I don’t know.  You thumped me, Babe.  I didn’t see it coming so I’m on my ass where it’s safe until the world stops moving,” he said quietly as he rubbed the side of his head.  He had one hand on the floor, trying to keep himself steady so he didn’t tip over. 

“Thumped you?  Sorry.  I didn’t mean to,” she said as she saw he was still confused about his vertigo.  “Just stay still for a few.  It will pass, I promise,” she said quietly.   

Shit, now hurting him even when she didn’t mean to.  Maybe she should just live by herself again?  She was less likely to hurt anyone that way.  It was something she’d been thinking about for a while and his expression and confusion were reasons to consider.  She watched and waited for his eyes to refocus.  His pupils were even and normal sized so she didn’t hit him as hard as she first worried.  She got down on the floor with him because she wasn’t sure if he trusted himself yet.   

“I’m so sorry Mike.  I didn’t mean to hit you.  I don’t know why I did.”   

She kept her eyes down at the carpet and his fingers that were resting within her reach.  She looked at his hand, his long graceful fingers that were capable of tenderness and violence.  She had only seen the tenderness, but if any of his boyhood stories were true, violence was also part of him, like it was a part of her as she just demonstrated unwillingly. 

“Is this what you did to Dave,” he asked, trying to smile at her embarrassment.  Her head snapped up at his question. 

“What?  No.  That, I knew what I was doing and he was down for a lot longer.  He was out, you weren’t.  If it makes you feel any better, I did the same thing to Christy, too,” she said.  “Do you need some water, ice, anything?” 

“Yeah, but first I need something else,” he said, grinning again.   

She looked at him in confusion until she saw his naughty smirk.  Her eyes widened.  She must not have hit him very hard if he was thinking with that brain already.  She leaned over to him, putting her small hand over his large one that was still steadying him and gently touched her lips to his.  He sighed. 

“Babe, that won’t do.  Not at all.  I don’t think that will help me recover, do you,” he said quietly as his voice dropped to a husky whisper.   

He reached for her with both his hands and pushed her down as he looked at her and smiled.   

“Much better,” he whispered as he leaned down and devoured her lips.   

Still fully clothed, she wrapped her legs around his hips so she could grind on him.  He groaned. 

“Damn it woman,” he breathed, unconsciously echoing his words from their earlier argument.  She reached for his shirt to tug it over his head.  He paused and slid out of his shirt and started to lift hers off too… 

He woke up when he reached for her and his hand found nothing but cold sheet.  His eyes snapped open and he tried to focus on the clock, but remembered that he threw out his contacts so he reached for his glasses and fumbled as he put them on.  Once he read the clock, he flipped the sheets back.  It was still the middle of the night, what was she doing up at this hour?  He thought they had talked about his disappointment about Thursday and had it settled.  He told her he would survive without her, but it wouldn’t be as fun.  She seemed to accept his words, but she was getting harder to read again, so maybe he was wrong.  He wasn't sure, but it felt like she was retreating from him, from everyone.  He wanted to be able to help her so she didn’t feel the need to pull up the bridge and padlock the doors as he privately thought of her retreat. 

He pulled on a pair of sweats and a shirt since it was cold in the condo at night.  As he descended the stairs, he had a brief thought about how large her condo actually was.  It was bigger than the average condo; it was bigger than his house.  Before he knew her very well, he could never understand why she had such a big place.  But now he knew that she had nieces and nephews that stayed, sometimes for extended periods, plus she had her own office that she had been retreating to a lot more frequently in recent weeks. 

He guessed that he’d find her in there, in front of her computer, working.  She had been busy working on something big, some project.  He didn’t ask and she didn’t offer any info so he wasn’t sure what was consuming her time and attention currently.  He knew that next week would be a long travel week, with the ugly ass flights to Australia and New Zealand.  He wanted to make sure she got some decent rest before that shit started up on Monday, but if she kept staying awake half the night she wasn’t going to be rested. 

He walked to her office and pushed open the door.  He was surprised that she wasn’t in there, but he was shocked at what he saw on her screen.  

I’m not finished with you Bitch!  scrawled across an old picture of Carrie and her brother, at least that was his guess.  Their eyes had been meticulously cut out of their faces.  Looking closer, he could pick out other words underneath the larger ones, all filled with hate. 

No wonder she had withdrawn.  The images and the vulgar words were filled with venom.  It also made sense why Wease had become more quiet than normal.  When the fuck did this shit happen?  Worry shifted quickly to alarm.  He looked at the couch, but it was empty.  He saw her keys were still in the tray so where else could she be.  He walked through the condo, flipping lights on every room and he still didn’t see her.  Not in any of the kids’ rooms or bathrooms that he could see.  He walked back to the main living area, turning the lights back off as he did so and stood in the center of the room with his hands on his hips as he thought for a minute about where else she could be.  On an inspiration, he pulled back the curtain and opened the slider on to the large deck.  There she was, at the far end in the dry.  He knew she didn’t hear him.  She was sitting under the eaves, out of the sleet and rain and sobbing by herself.  She had her hands on her still tiny but now rounded tummy and was sobbing like her world had ended.

 As he watched her in her grief and solitude, he realized his petty jealousy of yesterday was selfish and childish and something she shouldn’t have to deal with, especially not now.  He had been right in thinking that she had retreated, but now he had an idea why. 

“Babe,” he said as he stepped up to her. 

She stopped crying instantly and tried to dry her face and eyes.  He watched as she attempted to slide behind her mask again and pretend that nothing was wrong. 

“Carrie, don’t,“ was all he said as he knelt down in front of her chair and took her in his arms.  She was stiff for a brief second but she quickly melted into his comforting chest. 

She had no idea how long she’d been outside, listening to the sound of the rain.  It usually helped her relax, the timelessness of it, and the realization that no matter what we think, mankind does not rule the universe.  But as she sat in the rain, she started to worry and before she knew it her initial worry opened up all the rest of her worries and she cried.  She cried for more than today’s shit, she cried for all of the yesterdays that she hadn’t allowed herself to grieve for, all the broken promises, all the shattered shit that wasn’t supposed to bother her anymore.  She was supposed to be an adult and she should be able to just get on with life and move forward.  Maybe it was the damn hormones, maybe she was just tired of holding it all in? 

She was embarrassed that Mike found her all fucked up.  She didn’t like anyone to know she ever let herself loose control that thoroughly.  It went against all her training and the self control she allowed others to see.  It didn’t matter that it was Mike, very few ever saw her that vulnerable.  She hadn't in years.  She learned early on that vulnerability was a liability that others exploited. 

“Carrie, you ready to go inside, honey?  It can’t be good to be out here when it’s almost snowing,” he said with a gentle smile as she pulled away.

She took a deep breath and nodded.  She tried to wipe her face and eyes since she knew she looked like hell after crying.  She was not one of the lucky ones that could have a good weep and no one would know.  He helped her out of the chair and ushered her back inside to the waiting couch.  He unfolded the blanket from the back and spread it over her and tucked it around her to keep any drafts out. 

“I’m making you some tea and me some hot chocolate.  I don’t know about you, but it sounds good to me,” he said as he finished ensuring her comfort and went into the kitchen. 

“Mike, no tea.  No more fucking tea.  I hate that shit.  Do we still have cider?  That sounds a lot better,” she admitted.   

She finally came out and said how much she hated the fuckin’ tea people had been pouring down her for the last few months.  She had hoped she’d grow used to it, but it just wasn’t happening yet. 

“Oh?  You don’t like tea?  Shit, why didn’t you say something months ago, Babe,” he rumbled from the kitchen.  He thought back to all the damn cups of tea he had made for her in the last few months and he was just now learning she didn’t like it?   

“We’ve still got some cider,” he said as he walked back in several minutes later with two steaming mugs. 

“Thanks,” she said as she accepted the aromatic mug and smiled.  “Much better.” 

“If I would have known, Babe, I wouldn’t have been making you drink the other shit,” he said quietly.  He knew he shouldn’t have said anything, but his words came out before he could stop them. 

“I know, I know.  I kept hoping I’d start to get used to it,” she explained.   

She hadn’t turned on any of the lights, not even her small reading light so they sat on the couch in the safety of darkness.  Several quiet minutes passed as they each sipped their beverage and thought about where to start the conversation.  Mike didn’t want to push her enough to have her retreat again, but he also wanted to let her know he wanted to help if he could. 

“Carrie, when you weren’t in bed, I woke up,” he started.   

She took a breath to say something but he ignored it and continued on.   

“I thought you’d be in your office so I looked for you there.”   

Silence met his words, silence and stillness from the couch. 

“How long, Babe?  How long has that shit been going on,” he asked her in the darkness. 

“Um, weeks?  Maybe a month or so,” she admitted quietly. 

“You gotta tell somebody,” he started but she cut him off. 

“I did, weeks ago,” she said tiredly.  “She’s dumb enough that using email made it federal.  But the feds are too caught up in their own shit to listen to reason,” she said quietly. 

“What are you talking about,” he asked, feeling ill that Carrie had talked to the feds and he was just now hearing about it. 

“She uses multiple email address, freebies and never sends it through the same way twice.  Pretty simple to figure out if you know what you’re doing, but the folks assigned to it must be morons because they think she’s a fucking genius.  She’s not.  Wease found her quickly, but the boys in blue don’t want to hear that.  If they didn’t figure it out, it isn’t fact.  So here we sit, waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Fucking assholes,” she said in darkness.  She heard Mike sigh in the darkness and was glad for the cover it provided. 

“How did she get your address,” he wanted to know.  She rolled here eyes and was glad he didn’t see her. 

“She found my public address,” she said in to the quiet.  Silence met her words.  He might not understand what she meant so she’d try to explain it better.   

“You know if you look yourself up on the net, you can usually find yourself,” she questioned him. 

“Um, okay,” he said.   

It never occurred to him to look himself up before.  He monitored the net for stuff on Dave all the time, but he never bothered with his own name before.  He sipped his cocoa and listened. 

“Wease had the idea that I get a public email address to handle all the bullshit stuff we all get.  I get more than my share but that account gets the bulk of it.  Wease has a similar one.”  Silence met her words.  “It never occurred to either of us that she’d get in touch that way,” she admitted into the palpable tension and silence. 

“She’s fuckin’ with Wease too,” Mike asked. 

“Oh yeah.  Bu the worst of it is that she’s fuckin’ with or at least trying to fuck with Kris.  We can usually delete them before she sees them, but a few times we haven’t been quick enough,” she said quietly, knowing more questions would arise at her words. 

“Kris?  Why Kris?  She’s not her kid.  I don’t get it, Babe.” 

“She’s not the most logical person so stop trying to figure her sick brain out.  You’ll just get a headache.”  She wanted to get away from that subject so she said, “Hey, let’s see what we find when we look you up, Mr. Adams.” 

She set her cup down and flipped the blanket off and stood up in the darkness.  He heard her movements and reached for her, wanting to help her through this shit.  The hatred he saw on her monitor made him numb with shock.  He’d never seen anything like it that wasn’t in the movies. 

“Okay.  I bet we don’t find anything.  I’m not very exciting or famous,” he said as he followed her down the hall to her office.   

The light from her screen was enough to give off enough of a glow to light the hallway.  She quickly sat down and cleared the screen and brought up a search engine. 

“What are you prepared to bet, Mike?  I bet we do find something on you,” she teased.   

He looked at her with a grin and pulled up the small chair she had stashed behind the door. 

“I don’t know, honey.  Um, I have a feeling when we talk about computers and shit that I’m an infant in comparison to you so you pick something.”  She shook her head at him.   

“Wease is the one, Mike.  He’s a freak.  Don't ever bet against Wease, you'll loose every time," she smiled at him.   

He just nodded at her.  She thought about what to bet him and immediately came up with a partial solution to Thursday or at least an olive branch.   

"Okay, if we do find something, I want you to invite your grandma over on Friday."   

He blinked at her in confusion.  It wasn't the type of bet he expected, plus he didn't see the down side to it, yet.  But then it was the middle of the night and he wasn't at his best.  Maybe he'd see the downside after a shower. 

He watched her tap away for a few seconds before she asked him his birth date.  He was surprised that he had to tell her, but then it was one of those areas that they didn't talk about much.  She grinned as she typed it in and teased him with, "old timer."  She turned in her chair and held out her right hand for him to shake.   

"Deal?" 

"Deal," he said as he took her small hand in his and sealed their bargain.   

She smiled and hit the enter key.  In less than a second the page filled with entries about a Mike Adams with his birth date.  She looked at him and grinned.   

His first words out of his mouth were, "What the fuck?" 

"Told ya," she grinned and clicked on a link.   

She followed several more links from the original and found herself staring at a picture of a much younger Mike in a dirty football uniform, grinning for the camera. 

"What the hell," he asked as he leaned in close to see.   

She stayed quiet as he read the caption noting that linebacker Mike Adams sacked the quarterback for the second time that day.   

"That's fucking scary, Babe,” was all he was able to mutter. 

He shook his head as she clicked around and stopped at another picture.  This one was an even older and showed a young couple in formal dress.

 "Don't tell me," she laughed.  "It's the date from hell!" 

"How the hell..." he started to say and his voice failed him.   

The picture was obviously of a young couple dressed for a prom.  Judging by their hair and clothes it was also obvious that it was sometime in the eighties.   

As Mike considered the picture, he looked at his younger self and muttered, “What the hell was I thinking with my hair?  I had enough gel in it to start a fire.” 

"And you thought you weren't famous," she teased.  "Pretty girl.  The guy looks a bit of a goof, though.  Look at that tux,” she squealed.   

He just shook his head at his teenage self.  He did look like an idiot, he had to admit.  What the hell was he thinking with his tux?  He thought he looked sharp at the time.  Sad. 

“Okay, one more and then I'll quit messing with ya, since you have to figure out what Grandma Adams will want for dinner on Friday."   

He nodded but stayed quiet.  He was more than a little disconcerted at having some of his life out there for all to see.  The last link she clicked on brought up his driver's license.   

"That's not a very flattering picture, is it?" she teased him again. 

He shook his head but stayed quiet.  He had never used the search engine she had, so that might be why he'd never found himself.  But then he'd never looked before either.  He only kept tabs on Dave's stuff and anything that was out there relating to him.   

On a whim he asked, "Babe, type in your name."   

He saw her hesitate for split second before she typed it.  He saw her birth date and knew he'd just committed that to memory.  She wasn't that much younger, but she was younger.  He grinned when he realized she was the same age as his brother.  She hit enter and a page full of links popped up in a split second.  She clicked on a link and there was her email address, for all to see.   

"That's the one that's public," he asked.   

She nodded.  It wasn't very difficult, it was just her name.  He'd never used it before, that was certain.   

"How come we don't have any embarrassing pictures of you," he teased.   

She went back and clicked on another link and brought up a picture of her in a long dress, shaking hands with some guy and smiling for the camera.

 "That's a hideous picture, don't you think," she asked him.   

He just grunted, he didn't think it came anywhere near close to his college or high school ones.  She reached over and shut her computer down since she didn't want to explore her online presence any more tonight.  She turned to him and smiled.   

"Thank you, Mike.  Thanks for taking my mind off things and making me smile.  You were a funny looking kid, weren't ya?" 

"Damn it woman!  That's not fair.  I'm gonna ask your brother or Kris if they have some pictures of you that can be used for some bribery," he teased. 

 She knew he'd never get any photos from them.  All her childhood pictures had been destroyed years ago.  She just laughed at him and let him think whatever he wanted about that prospect.   

Later that morning after breakfast and showering, Mike was in the kitchen preparing to get busy for the next several hours, prepping stuff for tomorrow.

 “Babe, I’m gonna be cooking stuff for the next few hours.  What are you gonna do,” he asked.  He knew she’d rather leave than smell some of the stuff he’d be making. 

She looked up from her favorite chair with a book in her lap and said, “Probably go to the gym for a while.  I know shopping is a nightmare, so I’ll avoid that at any cost.  Maybe I’ll go steal a kid or two for a few hours today and go play.”   

He nodded as he started to peel some onions.  She grabbed her cell and punched one of her speed dial buttons. 

"G’morning,” she said to David’s rumble. 

“Morning, Lil’ Sis.  What can we do for you today,” he asked. 

“Well, I’m guessing Kris has some stuff she needs to do today, right,” she asked him.   

He sighed, he had been told what she needed to accomplish today and he wasn’t sure how it was all going to get done while riding reign on the kids, too. 

“Yeah,” he said.  She could hear his lack of enthusiasm. 

“Got an idea that might help.  Can I steal a couple of kids from ya,” she laughed. 

“Oh, hell yeah,” he agreed and smiled as Kris walked into the kitchen.   

She glanced at him questioningly and he smiled and nodded, letting her know she’d hear about it soon enough. 

“Mike’s warned me he’s gonna make my place stink,” she said seriously.   

David heard Mike’s offended comment in the background and knew she didn’t really mean it. 

“What?  Is he cooking chitlins again or what,” David teased. 

“Gross!  He better not be.  I still have nightmares about that, thank you,” she chuckled.  “Anyway,” she shuddered and continued.  “I’m going to the gym, but then I thought I might steal the big kids and go burn off some steam at the indoor go kart track.  Think any of them might be up for it,” she asked.   

She knew they would be.  It was Mikie’s favorite birthday activity and it was even more fun for the kids since their aunt was small enough to fit in the karts and race with them.  She’d already made a phone call and reserved four carts with the thought that she might have to add one or two more, depending on the number of friends they brought. 

“No fair, Tink.  No fair at all,” he chided her.  “We’re gonna be slaving away.”  David checked to make sure no kids were in hearing range before he continued, “and you’re gonna go play speed racer with the kids.  Where’s the justice in that?”   

Carrie heard Kris laugh at David’s words.  Kris had put her arm around her husband as she heard the plan and whispered in his free ear some of the other things that might be on their agenda today, if they could get their kitchen shit done. 

“Some of us live right, what can I say,” she giggled. 

“You drive a hard bargain.  How soon can you come get them,” he asked as he glanced at the clock. 

She snorted quietly before she said, “Give me an hour and half from now.  I’ll steal Kris’ car to haul them in, since I’m sure one or two friends will just die if they don‘t get to come along too.  Plus, I bet their parents could use a break also.”   

David agreed to the time and Carrie hung up with a grin.  She noticed Mike looking at her strangely. 

“What?” 

“You.  I think you use the excuse of the house smell to just go off and play,” he said as he continued prepping some of the veggies. 

“Now you sound like David.  He whined too,” she teased.   

With a laugh following her up the stairs, she grabbed her gym bag and headed back down into the kitchen to plant a quick kiss on the chef’s cheek before she grabbed her keys and was gone. 

***

He looked at his mom, not understanding what she had just told him.  Someone was calling for him, here and now at his parents’ house on Thanksgiving?  That didn’t make sense.  He’d spent an entire day answering questions from all his family about why Carrie wasn’t with him and did they have a fight or something.  He just wasn’t up to dealing with more shit.  Truth be told, he was hanging out at his parents house still because he didn’t want to go home to an empty house. 

“Go on, Michael.  Don’t keep them waiting,” Grandma Adams harried.  He scrubbed his hands over his face, shifted Penelope his grandmother’s pug off his lap and hauled his tired ass off the couch to retrieve the phone. 

“Yeah, this is Mike,” he said bringing the phone to his ear. 

“Hey buddy,” David said smiling into the phone.  “How ya doing today,” he teased. 

Mike sighed, “Okay.  My ass is still attached, but not for lack of effort from Grandma.” 

He heard more chuckling on the other end.  He could tell Dave was enjoying himself at his expense.   

“I’m sure you didn’t call just to make sure Grandma was doing her job, what’s up?” 

“Um, I got a bit of a problem and I hope you can help me,” David said.   

Kris was shaking her head at him, knowing what he was up to.  He was so transparent.  Wease had just walked by with some leftovers on his plate and stopped chewing long enough to listen in too. 

“What?  Today?  On Thanksgiving?  Okay,” Mike sighed and knew his family wouldn’t be happy that he had to take care of some business today.  He saw his mom watching him from her chair and could already see her small worry frown start. 

“Yeah, I know.  But it’s not work related buddy.  It’s just that Carrie needs,” was all he got out before Mike cut him off. 

“She okay,” Mike worried.  David smiled to himself as he hooked his buddy. 

“Yeah, she’s fine buddy.  The problem is she needs someone to pick her up,” David winked at his brother in law.  Wease grinned back at him, he knew what David was doing and why. 

“Okay,” Mike said quietly.   

David could hear his confusion so he knew he needed to expand on the fib to make it more plausible. 

“Yeah, Wease dropped her off since she had car trouble this morning and I was supposed to pick her up this afternoon, but I can’t.  I’m stuck buddy.”  David stopped himself from saying anything else, worried that he’d already blown it. 

“Okay.  I guess I can pick her up,” Mike said as he scrubbed his face again and sighed.   

His grandma wasn’t going to be happy that he had to leave for a bit.  David looked over at Kris and nodded, letting her know Mike was going to do it.

 “Great, you’re the man, buddy,” David said trying to suppress his chuckle.

 “Yeah, yeah, just tell me where she is so I can slip out without anyone noticing,” Mike said.   

He knew he wouldn’t be able to, he’d have to at least tell his dad and maybe he could slip out before his mom or grandma noticed.  David told him to grab a pen and waited for him to come back to the phone before he told him the address.  Mike frowned as he wrote it down. 

“You sure about that?  That’s not a good neighborhood,” Mike commented. 

“Yeah, that’s what Wease told me.  I just can’t break free to get her buddy.  You know what it’s like sometimes,” David said and shut up as Kris drug her elbow into him. 

“Okay, let me go so I can get the hell out of here,” Mike said.   

He did know what it was like and understood Dave not being able to leave, he didn’t get enough time with his family anyway. 

“Thanks buddy.  I owe you,” David said.  “Oh, and Mike?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Happy Thanksgiving, buddy.” David chuckled. 

“Yeah, back at ya.  I’m sending Grandma over next,” Mike warned him as he hung up.   

He grabbed his jacket and keys and found his dad in the kitchen, snacking on leftovers, knowing that his mom wouldn’t be happy if she caught him.

 “Dad,” Mike whispered with a conspiratorial air. 

“Yeah, son,” Dad grinned back as he put the lid back on the leftovers. 

“Carrie’s stuck somewhere and Dave asked me if I could pick her up.  You think you can stall for a few as I slip out,” Mike asked. 

“You’re not asking me to lie to your mother are you,” Sam grinned back.  “You know how she always sees right through me.” 

“No, just try to pretend you don’t notice I’m not here.  I’ll go out the back, just in case.  I don’t think I’ll be gone long,” Mike said.  His dad nodded and winked and opened the fridge as he looked for some leftover pumpkin pie. 

As Mike started up his truck, having successfully slipped out the back, he worried that Carrie might need to leave quickly since she wasn’t in a good neighborhood.  Thinking about it more as he drove, he realized that she was in one of the rougher areas.  He wondered why she was there at all.  He hoped she was alright.  He followed the streets noting the kind of area he was driving into and got more apprehensive. 

He was looking for a specific street and he missed it the first time, he knew.  He turned around and found it the second try.  Now he was really confused as he looked around.  There was a rescue mission on the corner, but no Carrie.  There was a church next door and then a couple of small family owned stores.  He parked his truck in the church parking lot and got out.  He looked for Carrie’s car but didn’t see it.  Then he remembered that Dave had said Wease dropped her off.  Made sense since her car would have been a target in the neighborhood.   

He was still scratching his head as he walked up to the church and opened the doors.  He stepped through the entryway and stopped as he saw there was a service happening.  Crap.  Trust him to barge in on someone’s devotions.  Luckily, the church was large enough that he might not have been noticed.  He scanned quickly for the top of her head, knowing it well.  He didn't really think she'd be participating in the service, but he had thought she might have come in from the cold and other elements.  Frustrated when he didn't see her, he eased back out the main doors and headed to the mission on the corner. 

It was obvious by the noise and the crowds that they were open and busy.  He planned to walk in and find someone that looked in charge and ask if they'd seen someone who looked like Carrie.  The doors were open so he walked in, past people that were standing on the steps talking and eating, past some other people that were in groups and laughing.  The noise was almost deafening to him, particularly after his quiet ride.  He knew he drew curious looks, so he nodded and smiled at those that made eye contact. 

His clothing was a stark contrast to those that surrounded him.  He was dressed in a pair of navy slacks and a tailored light blue striped dress shirt that actually fit, one of the few.  Plus he had his lined leather jacket on to chase the chill away.  As he stood in the doorway and looked around, becoming accustomed to the noise and activity, he noted families with children in addition to elderly men and women sitting at tables, talking and laughing.  He didn’t know how long he stood in the doorway watching, but he smiled as he watched a brother torment his sister by hiding his discarded vegetables in her mashed potatoes.  He remembered doing something similar to Rachel. 

His attention was brought back to the present when a little girl, at least he thought she was a little girl, tugged on his sleeve.  He smiled and looked at her, she had astonishingly large dark eyes and serious expression. 

“You lost or something Mister,” she asked him seriously.   

He bent at the knees and squatted so he could talk to her over the noise.  He smiled at her as he memorized her beautiful face.  She was going to be a heart breaker when she got older. 

“No, not really.  I’m looking for somebody,” he winked. 

“That’s what my momma says all the time too.  She’s always looking for somebody,” she relayed seriously.   

He stifled his laugh because she was being so serious that he knew she wouldn’t appreciate some strange man laughing at her. 

“Is there somebody in charge?  Maybe they’ve seen my friend,” he asked his serious little helper. 

“Sure,” she smiled.   

She reached for his hand and tried to grip his fingers in her small hands.  He took her small hand in his and smiled, letting her know he was willing.  He was completely unaware that they were being watched by most of the adults that could see them.   

“Father Shawn's in charge.”  She scrunched up her face and rolled her eyes before she corrected herself with, “He says God’s in charge, he’s just a helper.”   

She nodded at him and pulled the big man in to the crowded and noisy room.  She pulled him past tables of people eating, some were laughing, some were singing, some were just talking, but the noise was almost overwhelming.  He had to say excuse me half a dozen times as his young guide pulled him through gaps in the crowd that were her size, not his.  He couldn’t guess her final destination; he was looking for Carrie and also a priest.  He didn’t see either. 

“There he is,” she said triumphantly as she pointed to a slim man in khakis and a pink polo shirt.   

He was similar in age to himself and didn’t look anything like he’d thought a priest would look.  She let go of his hand and ran up to the priest and announced she had brought someone important to see him.  The man turned to see who his self appointed tour guide had brought and smiled slightly, although he was confused too.  He bent down and thanked the little girl for her helpfulness and told her to find her momma or they’d all be in trouble.  He rubbed his hands briefly on his slacks as he walked toward the new man Keisha had brought. 

Mike watched his guide run away with a smile and turned to greet the most unlikely looking priest he had ever seen.  The man was six foot or so, not much more, was somewhere in his twenties with some interesting piercings and a couple of large tattoos that he could see from his short sleeves.

“Hi,” Mike said as he shook hands with the man.  “Sorry to barge in.” 

At the others words, Father Shawn said, “You’re not barging in.  No one is turned away.  My name’s Shawn Bolang, by the way.  Pleased to meet you.” 

Mike noticed that the priest gave him his given name.  Very interesting.   

“Thanks, good to meet you too.  Mike Adams.”   

Their handshake was the kind that men gave each other when they were sizing up the competition.  Mike knew Carrie would have called their behavior canine, so he consciously relaxed and tried to curb his natural tendencies. 

“I’m supposed to be picking up a friend and I don’t know where she is.  This is the address I was given,” Mike admitted.   

He was starting to think David had yanked his chain again.  He was going to bring his grandmother over just for payback if that was the case.  Shawn nodded at the other man’s words and kept his face non committal.  He only knew of a couple of people that were expecting company or someone to pick them up and he’d never seen the man in front of him before so he waited.  His youth had made him wary of strangers no matter what else he had become since them.  He was still a child of the streets. 

“Um, I hope she’s okay.  I’m a little worried about her,” Mike admitted.   

The area wasn’t a safe place to be after dark he knew and if Carrie was waiting for him somewhere, he needed to find her quickly. 

“Understandable.  Life gets a little interesting around here sometimes,” the unlikely looking priest admitted.  “What does she look like?  Maybe someone will have seen her,” Father Shawn said.   

He had noticed the other man refer to a she, and he could understand the man’s concern.  He was betting if anyone knew of this man’s lost lady, Keisha would.  She was fearless and always watching, watching out for people.  Not much escaped her serious attention.  Mike nodded at the other man’s words, still trying to square the man in front of him with the images he had in his head of priests. 

“She’s about this tall,” Mike said as he brought his hand to his lower chest, paused and brought it up a few more inches and nodded.   

“She’s got light brown long curly hair and green eyes,” he finished.   

He was not going to tell the unlikely priest that she made his mouth water and heart pound.  He saw the other man’s eyes widen and watched him smile. 

“Sounds like you just described Carrie,” he laughed. 

Mike nodded, “Yeah, that’s her name.  Is she here?”   

The other man nodded and slapped his back with familiarity.  Several things clicked into place for Father Shawn and he suddenly realized who the man in front of him was. 

“Oh yeah.  She's been here all day.  I’m not sure where she is right now, but let’s go find her.  I didn’t know you were her ride today.  I don’t think she had planned on leaving for another couple of hours,” he admitted as he gestured for the other man to fall into step with him.   

Mike was more confused than ever as he followed the priest.  They didn’t get very far with all the thanks and blessings that were given to his guide.  Mike was patient, he was relieved that he’d almost found Carrie and she was safe.  The man beside him had thoroughly confused him and he must have sensed it because he turned to him with a smile. 

“What?  Not the typical priest, eh,” Father Shawn asked the larger man. 

“No, if you don’t mind me saying so, you’re not.  I thought all priests were old wrinkly white dudes,” Mike admitted and blushed as he realized what he’d just said.  The other man chuckled at the description and at the other’s discomfort. 

“You’d be amazed at how many times people mistake me for a local gang banger,” Father Shawn said comfortably.   

Mike nodded as he continued to follow the other man as they left the main dining/family area and went into a long hallway.  The priest stopped at an open door and stuck his head around the corner. 

“Carrie in here,” he asked.   

Mike didn’t see who was around the doorway, but he heard a lady’s voice tell the priest no and to go check down the hall.  He nodded and continued on.  Mike suddenly realized that he was wearing too damn many clothes.  He was starting to sweat with his coat on.  He pulled his coat off and slung it over a forearm and continued to follow the unlikely priest.  Father Shawn stopped at the last door and turned to the other man and put his finger to his lips and winked.  He also noticed the bigger man had taken his coat off and he was almost as large as Carrie’s famous brother in law who’d helped this morning.  No wonder he didn’t stand a chance, he thought privately. 

“If she’s in here, it’s story time and some of the kids might be sleeping,” Father Shawn said.   

Mike nodded and followed him in.  The unusual priest had been right.  Carrie was in the room, on the floor surrounded by a couple dozen kids, all sitting or laying quietly and listening to her story.  He recognized it as one of the ones she’d told Abby a few times.  He didn’t know the name of it, but he could almost follow along with the kids.  He decided to stay quiet and not interrupt her since she had her back to the doorway and hadn’t seen or heard them come in.  He pulled up a footstool and perched on it to listen to her and watch the faces of the kids as they listened enraptured to the tale of the boy with mismatched mittens.  Father Shawn had noted the other’s look of adoration and quietly left him to check on others. 

Mike sat and listened to the amazing scrapes the boy got into and seemed to somehow manage to get himself back out of.  He’d have to ask her who wrote the story because it was quickly becoming one of his favorites.  He could relate to some of the dorky things the boy did and said.  Who hadn’t made a fool of themselves sometimes?  As she wrapped up her story with the boy climbing back into bed with his mismatched mittens, he saw many of the children were content to lie down for now.   

One little boy spoke up and asked, “Can we have another one, Miss Carrie?” 

He saw her turn to him and smile and shake her head as she put her finger to her lips and say quietly, “Not now, before I go tonight if you’re still awake.”   

He nodded and curled up in his blanket for a quick nap.  She stood up and stretched and turned, but stopped instantly as she spotted Mike sitting on a stool by the door.  He could see her surprise and confusion.  He knew exactly how she felt, he’d just had more time to get used to it.  She walked quickly over to him and smiled.  He smiled as he stood up and wrapped his arms around her.  

“You’re full of surprises Babe,” he said into her hair. 

“Ssshhhh,” was all he got in return.   

Neither noticed that several of the kids had sat up and watched as the big man put his arms around Miss Carrie and hugged her. 

Carrie eventually turned to the kids and pointed, indicating back to their blankets and try to keep quiet for the little ones that were sleeping.  They all complied, but were bursting with curiosity.   

Carrie took Mike’s hand and led him out the door before she turned to him and asked, “What are you doing here?” 

“Dave called and said you needed a ride,” he said and tightened his hold on her.  He had been so worried about her safety, but she had been safe, in here the whole time.  “So here I am.  You’re not too disappointed, are you?” 

“Never,” she said as she reached up and brought his head down so she could kiss him seriously.   

He opened his lips for her and welcomed her menthol intrusion with a groan.  His hand slid down to her ass and pulled her close until she melted completely against him.  She dug her nails in to his back, causing another groan to escape. 

Father Shawn walked back to check on the kids and to see if they needed any help with some of the unruly ones and stumbled into the couple as they were attempting to devour one another on the spot. 

“Geeze, sorry,” Father Shawn said as he stopped half a step away from walking into them.   

He started to back away, embarrassed that he’d walked in on them, and embarrassed by his own body's reactions.  Carrie pulled away from Mike and laughed. 

“No need to be sorry.  Mike was just apologizing for being an ass,” she said truthfully.   

Was he, Mike thought.  Yeah, he guessed he was, particularly now he knew what she did on her Thanksgivings.  Hell, he thought she didn’t understand the whole concept and he was the one who’d been missing the point.  What a dumb shit he was, he thought corralling his thoughts back into a safe place and nodded at the embarrassed man. 

“Yeah, sorry.  I guess I got carried away,” he admitted as he shifted a cough drop around in his mouth.   

Father Shawn nodded and was just about to turn back down the hall when Carrie stopped him. 

“Father Shawn, have you been properly introduced to Mike?” 

“Not really,” the priest shrugged and stuck his hand out again.  Mike gripped it much lighter this time and smiled. 

“You’re still not like any priest I’ve ever met,” Mike admitted as he released the other’s hand. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he smiled.  “How were the kids,” he directed to Carrie since that was his original intent. 

“They’re good, mostly sleeping.  You know how they are,” she smiled at him. 

He smirked at her as he said, “I know how they are for you.  The rest of us,” his brows raised to punctuate his point.  “It’s not a pretty sight.  But they’re probably worn out from the excitement this morning.  Not everyday do these kids get to use a famous wrestler as their own personal jungle gym.”   

Mike’s brows knotted at that.  He didn’t know Dave came down here this morning.  He was quiet as the other two discussed one of the families and some of their needs.  He was putting several long ago comments into place and coming up with a completely different picture.  Damn, he had no idea.  His holidays had always been such a huge pain in the ass when Lisa was with him that he didn’t bug Dave or his family, thinking they had their own thing to do.  Well, they did, it just wasn’t what he thought.  He was such a clueless bastard.  And today?  Today he let his buddy lie his ass off to him and he was going to get even somehow.  He wasn’t sure how yet, but he would.  Definitely. 

“How long,” Mike blurted out as he finally fit all the pieces together.  The other two turned in confusion at his words. 

“What was that, Mike,” she asked.  “I hadn’t planned on leaving for a little while yet, if that’s okay?” 

He shook his head and dragged his hands across his face.  Father Shawn smiled to himself at the other man’s confusion.  He tended to feel like that around Carrie sometimes, too. 

“No, Babe.  How long you been doing this?  How long’s Dave been doing this,” Mike clarified.   

This might prove interesting, the highly unorthodox priest thought as he watched and listened. 

She snuck a quick look at Father Shawn as she replied, “I’ve been doing this for years.  David got roped in when he married Kris.  It keeps him and the kids out of her hair and the kitchen in the morning,” she said honestly.  Mike nodded as he fit that puzzle piece in. 

“Damn, Babe.  I’m sorry for being such an asshole,” he said to her face and then realized a priest was standing right next to him.  “Sorry!  Sorry, Father Shawn, sorry.  Didn’t mean to.”   

Father Shawn chuckled and said, “Don’t worry about it.  I’ve said much worse, trust me.”  At the man’s confused countenance, he continued, “I wasn’t born wearing a collar.  I’m not what you’d call the typical priest.” 

“That’s true,” Carrie chuckled and gave him a quick hug.  “He hasn’t tried to convert me in years.  He knows I’m a lost cause.” 

“Hardly that, Carrie,” the priest said quietly.  He walked to the door with the kids sleeping and looked in briefly and nodded, mostly to himself. 

“Are you here to help serve desert,” he asked the big man. 

“Uh, sure,” Mike said as he started to roll up his sleeves.  He handed his coat to Carrie to hold so he could get both of them done.   

Father Shawn said, “I’ll see you back in the kitchen, I’m going to run and see if I can find someone to sit with the kids.”  They watched him beat a hasty retreat down the hall. 

“I think you embarrassed him, Mike,” Carrie said quietly. 

“No, Babe.  I think you embarrass him,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her again.  “He’s the oddest priest I’ve ever met,” he said as he looked at the top of her head again and saw her clip was almost ready to come out.  She looked up to reply, but he pointed to her clip so she paused to fix that first. 

“Not sure how many Episcopal priests you’ve met, Mike.  They’re very different from Catholic priests.  He’s cool.  I’ve know him for years,” she said as she thought back to the first time she’d met him.  She had a hard time believing him when he said he was a priest.  She had only ever met one priest before him and that was years ago through Kris. 

“I get the fact that he’s cool, but I don’t know one flavor of priest from another, Babe,” he admitted. 

She sighed and shook her head.  It was definitely weird that she was going to explain a few of the differences in several different Christian sects.  He’d obviously not been taken to church often enough as a kid.  Or if he did, he didn't pay attention. 

“You know Catholic priests are always male and are supposed to be celibate, right,” she asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get that part,” he said impatiently. 

“Episcopal priests can be male or female and can marry,” she said. 

“No shit,” he said quietly.   

That explained it.  Now he understood the strange vibe he’d been getting off the priest.  Did she do that to every male in range?  He hoped not or their life together was going to be very stressful, stressful for him at least. 

“They’re also more forgiving in other areas.  It all depends on the diocese or whatever the hell the areas are called.  I can’t keep them straight,” she admitted. 

“Was he really in a gang,” Mike asked in reference to a couple of tats he noticed. 

“Probably, “she shrugged.  “C’mon, let’s go see what’s for desert.”   

She took his hand and guided him back down the hall into the first door Father Shawn had stopped at.  He was reminded of the little girl who had initially guided him to the priest and wondered where she was. 

Carrie led him into a huge kitchen area with stainless counters covered in various sized foil covered dishes and pans.  His attention was brought back to her as his name was mentioned to a woman Carrie had called Loretta. 

“Well, come here young man.  I’m not going to bite you, yet,” and she laughed loudly at her own joke.  

Another woman in the room that he hadn’t noticed and didn’t know her name yet said, “Behave!  If we have to have another episode like this morning, I swear.  I swear I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.”  She shook her head seriously.   

Mike had a feeling they were teasing him, but he didn’t know what to say about it. 

Both of the women were somewhere roughly his mom’s age, he guessed and both of them weighed in somewhere near him.  He’d better watch it or they’d probably be treating him like a son and scolding him too, just like his mom did when he was small in the kitchen. 

“Miss Carrie, you going to tell me why you brought this tasty morsel in to my kitchen?  Are you trying to distract me again,” Loretta continued. 

“No, Loretta.  This is Mike.  My Mike,” she explained.   

He blinked, it was the first time she’d referred to him as her Mike.  He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. 

“This is the boy you’re living in sin with,” she eyed him dangerously.   

He gulped at her glare.  He knew he was going to get in to trouble with these ladies. 

“Yes, this is him,” she chuckled at the older woman.   

She knew she was just teasing Mike to see how he’d react.  She’d done some serious teasing of David that morning.  Mike was still digesting the fact that Loretta had called him a boy, he hadn’t been called that in years except by his grandma.  Maybe his age estimate was low for Loretta? 

“Miss Carrie seems to think you know your way around a kitchen.  You think you can follow my directions, young man,” Loretta asked him seriously.

 “Yes, ma’am,” he said quietly and unbuttoned several more buttons on his shirt.  He got the sense he was going to be working his ass off with the ladies in the kitchen. 

“Hang your coat up over there and come over here when you’re done,” Loretta directed him.   

Carrie smirked at him as he did as he was told but stepped in front of him on his way back to his task master. 

“I’ll leave you in Loretta’s capable hands, Mike,” as she reached up and kissed his cheek.   

Mike watched her walk out the door with a sense of doom. 

“What do you think, Danette?  Two men in the kitchen today?  Who would’ve thought I’d live to see the day,” Loretta directed at the other woman.   

Danette’s response was to shake her head and hum as she busied herself in the large walk in fridge.  Mike felt relieved at her words, knowing the other man was probably Dave this morning. 

Carrie reached into her pocket for another menthol cough drop as Father Shawn stepped beside her. 

“He seems nice,” he said quietly.  “Where did you hide him?” 

“I left him with Loretta,” she giggled. 

“What?  Coming down here wasn’t penance enough,” he chuckled.  “You’re tough, lady.” 

“And don’t you forget it,” she teased him.  He nodded and smiled.  “Tell me what else you need,” she said a she scanned the room and recognized some of the same faces from year after year.   

They walked around the room, around the edge as they talked and stopped often to talk with specific people.  Carrie had slipped her hand through his arm to help navigate the room.  He enjoyed their contact but knew it was just her way of being friendly so tried not to think about it.   

They both watched as dessert was served and people came back to their tables with their plates filled with pie or ice cream or both.  Carrie knew that Loretta was keeping Mike busy with serving the ice cream, since it needed to be scooped out for each individual serving.  She paused and popped another drop in and waited as Father Shawn spoke with a young family. 

The shock of seeing Mike today, here, was still with her as she looked around at some of the faces.  He had accepted her dumping him off in the kitchen with some grace.  He had also held his tongue about her being here today, instead of being with his family.  The more she stood and watched Father Shawn talk with some kids and thought things through, she realized that she could probably have told Mike where she would be spending her holiday.  It's just that she was used to being reticent about so much of her past that things tended to get all tangled up and she kept everything inside, even when it wasn't necessary.   

She smirked a little as she saw Keisha look at Father Shawn.  He knew he had an adoring puppy with her, they'd spoken about it earlier.  He wasn't sure what to do about it.  It reminded her of Liz's crush on Mike.  He was just as clueless.  Men, she thought to herself.  The priest finished his visit with the young family with a prayer and walked back to Carrie.  He saw her smile, but knew she was miles away thinking about something else.

 "Anybody home," he asked her as he reached for her hand. 

She blinked, "Yeah, sorry.  I was in la la land for a moment.  I'm just storing up the memories for the next long week."  She crinkled her nose before she said, "Long week next week.  We'll probably spend more time in airplanes than on the ground.  Not going to be fun."   

He nodded and then chuckled as a thought occurred to him. 

"Didn't you tell me Christy was traveling with you next week, too," he prodded her and waited.   

She sighed at the thought.  Damn, the week just got longer. 

"If some of your sacrificial wine turns up missing, blame me.  I needed a quick shot to give me the patience with that twit," she grinned into his dark eyes. 

"You'll do fine.  You always do.  I know you wish you could stake her to a pole and leave her, but the laws aren't that enlightened yet," Father Shawn teased. 

"I know, damn," she sighed and smiled.  “I’d really like to stake her since I think she’s either a leech or a vampire in disguise,” she giggled.   

Father Shawn just shook his head at her, he knew she was baiting him and he was too tired to debate with her tonight. 

"I'd say that the helper you brought has been busy.  Think we should rescue him," Father Shawn asked, noting most of the people had their dessert. 

She pretended to give serious consideration to his request by putting her finger to her pursed lips.   

"I guess so, poor baby."  She linked her arm with his and they walked against the flow of diners to the kitchen door. 

At the doorway, Carrie stopped their entrance for a second and stifled a laugh.  She saw Mike had taken his dress shirt off and was standing at the sink with his hands in water in a pair of slacks and his white wife beater.  She also noticed Loretta was smiling to herself as she brought back more dirty dishes for their helper to clean.   

Father Shawn shook his head and chuckled.  He knew what they'd done and why.  He wasn't too sure if Mike was aware of it.  He didn't seem to mind being half dressed in front of the ladies as he washed dishes with quiet efficiency.  The man at least knew how to do dishes, that was obvious. 

"Loretta," Father Shawn said as he finally interrupted their fun.   

Her smile slid away as she tried to compose her face and hide her obvious enjoyment at the younger man's expense. 

"What?  He's just helping us," Loretta tried to explain.   

Mike had turned at the other man's voice and smiled at Carrie, flashing his dimples.  She returned his smile, knowing that the vision of him tonight, at the sink, would be burned into her brain. 

“Yes, I know.  Just like you had Mister Dave helping you this morning,” Father Shawn stated with feigned anger. 

“Can I help it if I happen to make men so hot and bothered they need to peel their shirts off,” she asked as she placed her hands on her amble bosom to show her sincerity.   

Mike had turned back to the dishes at the priests words, but once he’d heard Loretta’s, he shook his head.  Damn, today was screw with Mike day, obviously. 

“Thinking about that, do you notice it is a little hot and stuffy in here, Father,” she said quietly, trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. 

That lasted for half a second and then she roared with laughter.  Danette joined her and before long they were giggling like a couple of school girls.  Lucky for the three others in the room, they were also incomprehensible because of their laughter. 

***

“My grandson tells me you’ve refused his proposal,” the family matriarch said with a stern look at the small woman sitting across from her.  That news was not what she had wanted to hear, at all. 

Carrie lifted her chin and met the older woman’s eyes as she said simply, “Yes.”   

Grandma Adams was silent as she appraised the small woman.  Her simple answer told her more than she realized.  She reassessed the tiny woman and her own ideas about her and her favorite grandson. 

Yes, she’d refused him.  She’d keep on refusing him daily.  She didn’t tell Grandma Adams that he asked every day and she refused every day and she would continue to do so.  She was prepared to keep her reasons private, even in the face of the stern gaze across from her. 

“Why,” the old woman asked.   

If Carrie could give one word answers, then she’d try one word questions.  She saw the surprise in the younger woman’s eyes quickly replaced by something else, something wary.  She saw the young woman’s barriers went up at her question and realized her mistake in trying to ask for her reasons.  Interesting, she thought.  There was a lot more to this young woman than most realized.  She loved her grandson and wanted him to be happy.  She just hoped that he knew this young woman enough to want to spend the rest of his life with her, even if the woman herself seemed disinclined.  The younger woman shook her head and shrugged, both moves so slight that if she had blinked she would have missed them. 

“Would you like some more tea,” Carrie asked her.  She knew she wanted something more and wanted a break from the unrelenting silent appraisal from the older woman. 

“Yes, that would be lovely,” Grandma Adams said, reached down to pet Penelope in her lap. 

She watched Carrie smile and nod reaching for her cup, bolting into the kitchen.  She could hear mumbled voices, but was unable to make out any words.  She guessed that her grandson was being told about her prying questions and was probably asked to tell his grandmother to back off.  She smiled to herself as she looked up and saw Mike walk in and smile at her.  She knew it, Carrie had as