Part 1 of 2


It's been a while
Since I could say
That I wasn't addicted
It's been a while
Since I could say
I loved myself as well and...
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
But all that shit seems to disappear when I’m with you
It’s Been a While - Staind


She shut the radio off with the song still in her head just before she shut the car off. She looked over at the car next to her as she was getting out and saw his grin.

“What the hell? Did you follow me here,” she asked him. She couldn’t believe he had, but then maybe she should have expected it. It was one of the reasons she booked herself into a different hotel than the RAW crew a few of weeks ago.

“Of course,” John said matter of factly. He got out of his rental and walked to her. “I wanted to see you again and I know I won’t get to for a long time after tonight.”

She had a bad feeling about this, she knew she should tell him to go back to his own hotel if she had any sense, but she missed him and wanted to spend some more time with him too. He was funny and knew how to make her laugh, something she hadn’t done much of in the last few weeks. He didn’t tell her that his bags were in the trunk of his rental. That would be pushing it, he knew.

“Did you need to get something to eat,” she asked him, knowing that most of the talent had stayed away from the food tonight. He nodded. “I don’t think it’s too late for room service, will that be okay,” she asked him. She had started to walk through the lobby and to the elevators.

He said “yeah, that would be fine,” as he followed her, intent on not letting her out of his sight.

He was doing a very good impression of a bird dog as he followed her intently. The elevator arrived for them. She punched the button for the fifteenth floor and waited. He wanted to grab her and kiss her, but knew he couldn’t and it was almost enough to make him crazy. Being with her again today had been so right, he didn’t want the night to end yet, so he followed her. She stepped out of the elevator and dug for her card. He was trying to shake the haze from his brain as he walked behind her. Her scent in the elevator had spiked his desire for her all over again.

Once inside her room, she kicked off her shoes and sat on one of the chairs. He flipped off his hat and slid off his shoes too, indicating to her he intended to stay a while. She noticed, but didn’t say anything.

“Did you want your usual from room service,” she asked him. He nodded, but stayed silent as he watched her. She picked up the phone and ordered room service, adding a couple extra items for her, since she knew she should eat too. They both were quiet, waiting for their food to arrive.

She finally broke the silence with, “How are you doing, John. I don’t mean public you, I mean you.” That was a loaded question and she knew it. He shrugged as he thought how to answer her question.

“I’m doing okay. I really like that Hulk Hogan is with RAW this week. That’s a boyhood dream come true,” he grinned at her. She knew it was and was happy that he was able to live out that fantasy. She still got stupid around him, so she understood.

Their food arrived and they were quiet as they ate. It was a companionable silence, no tension, just quiet and comfortable with each other. She was finished well before him and walked away to grab her portable so he could eat in peace and not feel awkward since she was finished. She wanted to check on some things and now was as good a time as any. He watched her walk away from him, as he finished his dinner. Dinner that she bought for him. It wasn’t something he’d ever get used to, but after seeing what she was bought today, he knew he shouldn’t worry. That was an eye opener for him, he had to admit. She was full of surprises, like when he had text’d her the other week after some huge fight with Mike. She didn’t want to talk about that, she wanted to find out how he was doing. She was still taking care of everybody else at her own expense.

He walked over to her when he’d finished. She was occupied with her portable and didn’t look up. He watched her for several moments, watched her brow furrow as she concentrated on something, then watched her tap on the minute keys as she figured the problem out.

He finally spoke, “Carrie, you want to tell me why you’re here, clear across the country. You ready to talk about it yet?” She looked up at him and slowly shook her head, her eyes wide. “Baby, it doesn’t do any good to keep it in.” She closed her portable and took a deep breath.

“John, I just don’t know how the fuck I could have been so stupid,” she said. He waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. She sat still and stared off in to space.

“Baby, I want to help you if I can,” he said quietly. He saw her eyes tear up so he knelt in front of her and wrapped his arms around her without a word. She melted in his arms, and started to cry.

“Oh baby, don’t. It can’t be that bad,” he said as he caressed her shoulders and held her tight.

He kissed the top of her head to let her know he cared. She clung to him tightly, not ready to let go. He gently rocked her, trying to soothe her but she was still shaking in his arms, crying silently. He didn’t know how to help her, he hated not being able to stop her tears. His knees where starting to protest at being abused so he shifted a little and picked her up and walked over to the bed with her held tightly in his arms. She didn’t seem to notice his movement, she was too deep in her grief. Once he sat back down on the bed, she was in his lap with her fingers still gripped on the neck of his shirt.

He gently kissed the top of her head as he said, “Baby, please. Tell me so I can help.” She mumbled something in to his chest that he didn’t hear. He turned his head so he could hear her. “What was that, Baby,” he asked.

She shook her head again, but pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. He looked at her, so beautiful in his arms, that he reacted without thought. He kissed her. She was hesitant at first, but she relaxed and opened her soft lips for him. That opened his flood gates. He groaned as he let his tongue explore her familiar mouth. He loved the feel of her in his arms, on his lap, he wanted more. He needed more. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gently nibbled on his throat.

That was the fan for his flames. His pulled off his shirt in between kisses, knowing he wanted more. She was as eager; her ragged breathing matched his. She knew what she wanted. She reached up and traced her finger across his lips. He snared her finger with his tongue. She pulled away so she could pull her shirt off for him. He waited impatiently because he knew what he wanted.

“Oh baby, yeah,” he said quietly as he saw her peel her shirt off and turn to him. He stood up and reached for her jeans, he wanted them off. She reached up and kissed him as he struggled with her now snug jeans. He groaned in frustration, she smiled at his efforts and pulled them off for him. He watched as her jeans dropped to the floor in front of him.

He looked at her, knowing how beautiful she was and wanting to relearn every inch of her. He guided her to the bed and pushed her to lie flat, so he could continue. She grabbed his head and stole a deep kiss from him before he pulled away to focus on the rest of her body. He laid down next to her as he started with her soft throat and neck, sprinkling kisses and gentle bites, just enough to set her afire. She was breathing rapidly and he knew she was ready for him, but he wanted more. He trailed his tongue down to her breasts, ensnaring first one then the other with his tongue. She gasped at his torture. He smiled as he looked at her face. This is what I was meant to do, I was made for this woman, he thought.

“Oh, yes,” she said breathlessly as his tongue continued the trek down to its rightful place. He slid his hand from her breast to her thigh, and listened to her whimper.

“Oh baby, tell me what you want,” he said quietly. He teased her with his fingers, but pulled them back to her thigh. She moaned and shifted her hips, trying to claim his fingers. He teased her again and planted kisses on her belly and thighs.

“Baby, tell me…tell me and I’ll stop,” he teased her again, this time barely sliding his finger inside and slipped it back out to rub her thigh. She whimpered in response and bucked her hips. He knew she wanted him, he just wanted to hear her say it. He trailed his tongue from her hip down to lick her thigh, just brushing his head between her legs, driving her insane. She groaned again, wanting him to stop teasing and give her what she wanted.

“Baby, tell me honey. You know you want to, just tell me,” he asked her quietly again as he continued his slow torture of nibbling her thighs. She lifted her head and looked at him, saw the grin on his face and knew he’d never stop until she said it.

“John. I want you baby. You. Stop teasing me,” she gasped as he stabbed her with his tongue, rewarding her for finally giving him what he wanted.

He focused his tongue on her sensitive nub for a few moments, making her buck her hips and shout his name. He slid his fingers deep into her. He felt her tighten around his fingers. He angled his fingers as he continued, knowing she had a certain spot that if he hit it, it was the mother lode. Oh yeah, he thought, as he watched his lover flush underneath him, knowing she was going to explode again soon, all because of him. He shifted his fingers just a bit more and she yelled. He knew he’d hit the right spot as she clamped down on his fingers. He watched her back arch and her head tip back all because of him and his touch. She groaned for him and clamped down again. He kept his fingers busy, stroking her to more highs, just as she started to catch her breath from the previous climax. He grinned to himself, she was the most responsive and passionate woman he'd ever known.

He waited for her to settle back down finally and open her eyes to look at him before he moved. He wanted to remember all of tonight. He didn't want to rush anything. He slid his wet fingers from her slowly and wiped them on the bed. He looked down at her and smiled, knowing they weren’t done. He was just warming up. He pulled his pants off, because he was eager to join her on the bed. She reached for him, letting him know she still wanted him.

“Baby, I love you,” he said as he kissed her neck and rubbed his hand on her already sensitive thighs. She pushed him back to lie on the bed, so she could take what she wanted from him. He let her, willingly.

He kissed her as he drifted off to sleep and said,” I love you Carrie, stay with me.” She didn’t hear him because she was already asleep, exhausted from their passion and her turbulent weeks.

She woke up in the darkness to John kissing the back of her neck, rubbing her shoulders, whispering his love for her. She was confused for a moment, not knowing where she was. Oh, he was distracting to her sleep filled mind. He continued to distract her with his talented hands, making her forget where she was and give in to the promises that his touches spoke of. She turned to him and kissed him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He smiled, knowing she was awake and wanted him as much he wanted her again. She was glad she hadn’t changed her patch yet this week, even thought it didn’t do a damn thing except regulate her. She would have been pissed if she had finally started her normal cycle and missed out on this, she knew. She couldn’t see him, but she could feel his beautiful hard body as he pulled her close and wrapped her leg around his hip so he could glide into her. She sighed as he filled her, filled her completely. He felt so good, he was so good to her. He groaned in response to her sigh. He rolled her over so both her legs were wrapped around his hips, letting him grind into her completely.

“Baby, I love you. Let me love you, let me show you,” he said as he looked down in to her eyes. He started to rock in and out of her slowly. She matched his pace, knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

“Yes, John, yes,” she whispered as she felt her orgasm overtake her quicker than she had anticipated.

He was treated to the sight of her gasping in surprise and pleasure at the force of her release. He could feel her and he could almost see her, and knew he’d never get tired of her. He wanted her still and knew he needed to show her what she did to him, every time. He waited for her to have control again before he started. He started slow because he didn’t want to hurt her, but he needed to pound in to her, show her how much he loved her and what she did to him.

Before he picked up the pace he whispered to her surprised eyes, “Baby, I’m gonna show you what you do to me.” She nodded, not knowing what that meant. She gasped when he sat back, pulled her legs from his hips and rested them on his chest, with her heels almost touching his shoulders. He shifted his grip on her hips and rammed himself into her. She couldn’t believe how fucking hot that was, how hot he was. He could be gentle but he could also be rough and nasty and she liked both. Oh baby, did she like both. God, she was hot, so beautiful was his last thought as his vision clouded and he emptied into her.

She opened her eyes slowly, trying to figure out where she was. A quick glance at the area of the room she could see, she realized it was a hotel room. Her case was visible, but she didn’t know where she was or who she was with as she struggled to shake the fog of sleep from her brain. She turned to her partner so she could verify who, and was upset with herself when she realized it was John. How the hell could she let that happen? She thought back on last night and remembered, she wanted him as much as he wanted her. They satisfied each other, until they were both too exhausted to move. Why did she do that kind of shit to herself and him? She knew it wasn’t fair to him, but he didn’t care last night and neither did she. Oh god, he was so good to her. She remembered his touch from last night and knew why she wanted him. Was she doomed to go through life without any real connections? It seemed like that was her pattern and she didn’t think she’d be able to change because she didn’t want to let anyone in, anyone in enough to hurt her. Just thinking that made her think back to that night and how stupid she had been. She knew she’d been vulnerable and she’d paid the price.

She slid out of bed so she wouldn’t wake him and checked the time. She saw they had hours before check out. Good thing too, because she was betting he’d need the sleep. She quietly grabbed her clothes and hopped in the shower. She had a few things she needed to check on and wanted to be ready if she had to run to a post office or sign for something. He was still fast asleep when she came back out, clean and clothed. She smiled as she saw how he had moved all the way to her side and hugged her pillow. He’s such a sweet man, she thought to herself again. She flipped open her portable to check for emails as she listened to voice mails on her cell. Nothing urgent so far, which was good because she needed to get something to drink since they didn’t have any more water in their room. As she came back in the room with several bottles of water from the ridiculously priced vending machine, she thought she’d order room service for both of them. Yeah, that would work plus it would be a nice way for him to wake up. Once that was taken care of, she went back to her emails and juggling David’s schedule for the coming weeks.

He woke up to the sound of her tapping her keys on her little computer. He just stared at her for a while as he woke up, he enjoyed looking at her. He saw that she had already showered, that caused some confusion for a minute as he wondered if it was late. It didn’t feel late, but then who the hell could tell, they stayed up very late. Just thinking about last night brought a smile to his face and stiffness between his legs. He licked his lips so he could speak.

“Morning Baby,” he said to her in a deep rough voice. He smiled at her as he rubbed his rough chin with the palm of his hand absently. She looked up at him and smiled.

“More water is on its way, along with breakfast,” she said as she pointed to the table with the bottle of water next to his head, knowing that he’d be as dry as her. He stayed quiet as he opened the bottle and drank deeply. He just wanted to enjoy the morning and the sight of waking up to her. “I rescheduled your flight, John. I hope that’s okay because you’ve already missed it.”

“Oh, shit. Thanks. I’m not leaving this bed for a while yet anyway. Can I persuade you to join me this morning, lovely lady,” he asked her with a twinkle in his eye.

She smiled at him and shook her head. He shrugged, thinking she was probably as sore as he was starting to feel. He watched her for a while longer before he decided he should probably take a shower too. She watched him get out of bed, and head to the bathroom. She loved what she saw. Damn, she’d never get tired of that, she knew. She went back to massaging David’s calendar for next month and didn’t hear the knock at the door the first time. It took her a moment to figure out that it must be room service. John came out of the bathroom as she was closing the door with a full cart loaded with breakfast, including coffee.

They both drank several large glasses of water before they touched anything else. She poured their coffee while he set up their plates with food. His was loaded in protein, hers with fruit and toast. As she started to eat her breakfast, the thought struck her how they functioned together. He was quiet as he ate and watched her, and waited for an opening. Finally he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Baby, if you want me to apologize for last night, I’m not going to. I’m not upset that we, that we, um…” he stumbled for the right words.

She quirked her brow at him and supplied, “screwed each others brains out?”

He pulled a face at her choice of words, but it sufficed for now. “Yeah,” he took a deep breath before he continued. “I’ve wanted to be with you again for months and last night was worth the wait. I’m sorry if I messed up your life, but I’m not apologizing for loving you,” he finished as he grabbed his coffee and drank from it to hide any embarrassment at his day time proclamation. She thought for a moment before she said anything, not wanting to say it wrong.

“I don’t know why you think you need to apologize, John. You didn’t force me, I was willing, very willing. But you’re trying to change the ground rules and that’s not fair.” He shook his head at her, knowing he’d never understand her completely.

“The ground rules? Shit, I blew those up months ago when I fell in love with you,” he said as she sipped her fresh cup of coffee. “I don’t know what’s going on in your life or what caused you to run away from him, but I’m glad you’re here with me.”

“I don’t know what’s going on in my life right now either,” she said to him as he poured his next cup. “Those condo are tempting, but I hate being tied down and winters here can be damp. I don’t know what’s next for me,” she said honestly.

“You could always try the northeast,” he said as he smirked at her. “We have real winters, real snow and less traffic outside of the big cities. Plus the turning of the leaves, Baby. It’s something to see.”

She laughed at him, knowing what he was really asking but didn’t dare come out and ask. He knew what her answer would be.

“I don’t know. I’ve lived there before and the winters are great, that’s for sure. I think a major relocation is in order. New country, new continent. I haven’t figured it out yet, but there’s no rush. I have to sign those papers soon anyway.”

John’s heart dropped at her words new country. He didn’t want to lose her again, not so far away.

“Baby, why the drastic change? Why not just move somewhere else in the states. Shit, we got enough variety for ya.” He set his cup down and walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms. He didn’t want to think about her moving far away. “Don’t go, Carrie,” was all he said to her.

“Ground rules honey. We both started this with our eyes open and you know how I am. I’m screwed up, and I don’t want to screw you up too,” she said as she pulled away.

“How long you staying here,” he asked quietly.

“I have to wait for some papers to sign for the condos. They’ve agreed to the deal so now it’s get the paperwork completed. It won’t take too long, my folks know what they’re doing,” she said.

Her folks? Is that what she just said? How many people does she have working for her anyway? They never discussed that part of her life before, he realized

“Baby, are you ever gonna tell me what kind of money making equipment you’ve got that isn’t illegal. I can’t think of anything that would allow you to have enough to buy those condos without even flinching,” he stated.

She looked at him for a moment, knowing it wouldn’t matter if he knew. It was just something she didn’t talk about too much. She had learned early on that people treated her differently if they were aware of the size of her bank account. Money changed people’s perceptions of her, particularly if they thought she was going to give them any. That wasn’t a worry with John since he had his own and was starting to experience some of the same challenges with people and money.

“In my freshman year in college, when I was still just a baby really, remember I started early, I met some folks who were even geekier than me. They’d spend hours and hours writing code just for fun. Okay, I’m a little geeky, but I do not write programs just for fun. One of them had written a nifty little piece of code that enabled a certain kind of transaction to take place safely, over the very insecure internet at the time. Just for shits ands grins I asked this uber geek if he wanted me to show him the potential gold mine he had written. Once he fully understood, he wanted my help selling the idea to other geeks. Things like google were just getting off the ground and they were filled with other like minded geeks. Shit, I went to a school full of them.” She paused to drink some more water. He was following her story so far but couldn’t yet see where she was heading.

“First I protected the code with all kinds of boring legal paperwork because if my hunch was right we’d all be as rich as royalty. I approached a group of people that were just tossing the idea around of on line auctions, but they were stuck about how to make it safe. They knew most folks like to shop, but were wary. I showed them the code, they loved it and wanted to buy it. This is the smartest thing I did, and only through dumb ass luck. We worked a deal that they could use the code, but for every transaction that was made, a tiny piece of a percentage was paid to me and the code writer.” John was nodding his head, he understood what she was saying, must be some cool auction if she can buy those condos was still in his mind.

“So their auction idea turned out to be a good one,” he asked.

She laughed and said, ”Every time I hear someone say they bought something on eBay I say a little thank you. If they use PayPal or eBay I say thanks, every time.”

John was stunned, eBay? No shit, he thought. He would never have known she had that much money behind her. She didn’t act like he thought someone would in her circumstance.

“What’s the dude that wrote the program doing,” he wanted to know.

“He’s still writing code, but he lives in the Mediterranean now and doesn’t have a care in the world. I visit him a couple times a year.” John laughed at her news. The more he thought about what she said, the more confused he became.

“So, why do you help Dave with his schedule? I thought it was a way for him to help out family by giving you a job for something to do. At least that’s what I thought at first.”

“He needed help, my sister was very pregnant and then just had a baby and I can play with my shit wherever I am so it made sense. It’s an added bonus that I like him. Not needed for the job obviously, but nice.”

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end

Part 2 of 2


John took a deep breath as he absorbed all that had happened in the last day and some of the things he had learned about his baby. She was full of more surprises he was sure, but what he had learned in the last 24 hours was enough for now. He also admitted to himself that he learned he wasn’t ‘over her’ yet either. Just as that thought crossed his mind he looked up as she walked back into the room from the bathroom. He smiled at her and was rewarded with a genuine smile from her as she looked for her portable or something.

“Baby,” he asked.

She glanced up from her recent purchase from the gift shop downstairs, “Yes, John?”

He knew he wouldn’t see her for months after today so he wanted to make their time together memorable. “Why are you so tense,” he asked causally. She didn’t really look tense, but he wanted to give her a massage anyway. Any excuse to touch her was good enough for him, he knew.

She frowned before she answered, “Just all the shit that’s been going on, John. I have some asshole in Arizona that needs some special handling and it’s pissing me off.”

She stopped for a minute, knowing she didn’t really want to think about the asshole today. It was too pretty of a day and she was too damn tired to waste energy on that shit.

John was surprised by her answer, but it fit with his earlier thought of not knowing what the hell was going on with her sometimes. She was always full of surprises. He walked over to her chair and kneeled behind her.

“Let me help you forget about the asshole for now, Baby,” he said quietly into her ear.

“I wish you could, John. But he won’t go away, no matter what I try,” she said, blissfully ignorant of his intentions. He grinned to himself, as he lifted her hair off her shoulder and started to knead the knots he found.

“Baby, let me help you,” he whispered.

She groaned quietly as his fingers worked their magic on her screwed up shoulder. She closed her book and set it on her lap so she could wipe her mind empty and enjoy his talented hands and their work on her neck and shoulder.

“That’s feels so nice, John,” she almost purred. He knew she liked it, he could feel her melt in his hands. He lifted her hair away from her other shoulder and started kneading the tension out of it also. She leaned her head forward so he could work on either without her hair being in the way.

“You need to move Baby so I can get all of your back. This chair won’t let me,” he said quietly.

She frowned briefly at his words, worried by what he might be saying, but his fingers were working wonders on her shoulders, something she hadn’t been able to do by herself. She nodded and stepped over to the bed and sat down. She noticed he crawled on the bed behind her and sat on his heels as he continued his wonderful work on her shoulders. He stayed quiet, not wanting to break the mood or the moment. He could feel her relax into his hands, slowly. He paused very briefly so he could pull his own shirt off, hoping she wouldn’t notice the break in rhythm. She didn’t seem to so he continued his kneading. He worked his hands down to her mid back and felt more tension. Did she carry this shit around with her everywhere, he worried. After last night, how the hell did she have the energy to have this much tension, he wondered. She groaned quietly as his hands attacked her back. He ran into her bra strap and had a quick debate with himself before he decided to unsnap it and not say a word. He’d really like to just pull her shirt off so he could work on her entire back.

“Baby, how can you be so tense,” he asked quietly. She shrugged her shoulders in response, but stayed quiet. He reached for the bottom of her shirt and lifted it over her head and off. Her bra was still on, miraculously. The straps were still on her shoulders. He’d take care of them in a couple of minutes, he knew.

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Let me help you, Baby,” just before he kissed her neck.

She groaned in response. He smiled; he knew she was almost putty in his hands. He continued kneading her back but he also wanted to distract her with his kisses. He didn’t know how the hell he had the energy for this shit. His dick was so damn sore from last night he didn’t think this morning he’d be able to move, but he did. He ran his hands down to her lower back and started massaging her again. He leaned in and kissed the other side of her neck. She kept her head tipped forward but she did groan. He remembered something from their previous time together and wondered if it still worked. He leaned in while keeping his hands busy and bit her trap with his teeth. He latched on and gripped with his teeth, letting her know it wasn’t just a playful nibble. She groaned louder and reached for him behind her head. He let go and smiled, secure in the knowledge that it still worked. He’d file that away for future, he knew.

She had been relaxing into his massage, letting all the tensions drain away. The shit in Arizona, that other shit at home she couldn’t do anything about, the shit of where to move to next, all of it was draining away peacefully. All of it was fading and she was grateful to John for being able to make it recede. She felt his kisses and groaned because they felt so good. He had talented lips along with talented fingers she knew and he used them well. She was just drifting off into a contented puddle that he created when she felt him bite her neck. That brought her back and fired her up. Oh god, how could she have the energy to respond to him, she didn’t know. But she did. All her nerves that just a minute ago had been relaxed flooded with energy at his bite, causing her to tingle all the way down to her toes. Her breath caught as he let go of her neck, knowing she wanted more of that. She felt him slide her bra straps down, wondering when he undid the clasp.

As he slid the straps off her shoulders, he leaned in and kissed her neck again, this time teasing her with his tongue. She groaned in response and waited for more. He bit her neck and received a gasp in response to his attention. He sat down on the bed and put his legs around her as he pulled her against his bare chest. She wondered briefly when he took his shirt off, but that thought fled as soon as he slid his hands around to torment her breasts as he bit her shoulder again…

She opened her eyes and couldn’t figure out where she was. It was dark, but she couldn’t tell which way was up or where she was for a brief moment. She paused to take a deep breath before she started to freak out and realized she was on carpet with some covers strewn around her. As she shifted, trying to figure out where a light was, her partner groaned and pulled her tight against him. She was still for another moment as she tried to figure out who the hell had her in a tight embrace. She touched his closest hand, hoping she’d be able to tell by his fingers. Was she dreaming, was she in Mike’s embrace? It felt like it, but that wasn’t possible. He was back with the Miss Lovely and she was no more than a blip on his radar. What day was it, she worried. That was a good place to start. She remembered going to RAW and visiting with some friends. She remembered going to the bar after and seeing even more friends. She also remembered John bird dogging her movements all night when he was free. She remembered asking him to be discreet since they were in a crowd of people. She remembered Shawn watching her all night, his eyes followed her movements. She knew he was a close friend of Hunter’s and guessed that Hunter had asked him to watch out for her. She also remembered her irritation at that, but tried to keep her emotions in check. She knew it wasn’t Shawn’s fault that Hunter treated her like a child.

Damn it, she seemed to be making a habit of waking up in someone’s bed and not know who the hell it was. She knew it wasn’t Shawn, he was like an older, very married, brother. She tried to remember after leaving the bar and what happened from there.

Now she remembered. John had followed her up to her room. They ate some dinner, she embarrassed herself by breaking down and crying like a big baby in front of him. Why did she cry so much around him, she didn’t know, but it seemed to be a habit of hers? She got very still as she replayed the events of the evening after she stopped crying. Damn it, why did she do that to him. She remembered waking up, tweaking David’s schedule because next week looked ugly. She remembered sending David and Kris separate emails detailing where she’d meet him and the fact she wasn’t going home after. She knew that asshole in Arizona was still a priority and she was still waiting on the condo papers to sign. Okay, so that was Tuesday morning. She couldn’t think anymore, she was just too damn tired. She snuggled into her partner’s warm embrace and drifted back to sleep. She’d figure the shit out later, when she wasn’t so damn tired.

John stirred and felt her in his arms and couldn’t help but smile at the feel of her. He was so damn tired and his cock was so sore he knew he wouldn’t even think about using it for at least a week. He thought it was sore before, but that was nothing in comparison to now. But what a way to get sore, he thought. He opened his eyes and realized it was dark. He wondered where their lunch tray was, he hoped they weren’t laying in it. He knew they were on the floor, but didn’t know where in the room they were.

He decided to transfer both of them to the bed for some real sleep. He untangled himself from her slowly, because he didn’t want her to wake up. He rolled to his feet and stood up and looked around. There was a dim light source, he couldn’t distinguish from what but it gave him enough to see where the bathroom was. Once he finished in there, he left that light on for a moment so he could get their bed straightened out and useable. He looked around at the room and shook his head. It was in shambles, chairs were tipped over, furniture was moved, their food tray was on the floor with some of their bedding in it.

He stopped as he was reminded how much she had surprised him again today. He had no idea she would enjoy playing with their food so much and tormenting him with it. He knew he’d never be able to eat fruit salad again without thinking of her flat stomach and hips cradling strawberries and cream and the joy he had licking her clean. He shivered at the memory of her use of the ice chips that their drinks came with. He loved her, he couldn’t help it and he knew that she loved him in her own way. It was enough for him, even though she didn’t think it was. He wanted her to stay with him, but she had refused again today. He didn’t know how to get through to her other than to let her make up her own mind since pushing her didn’t work. He learned that a long time ago. He didn’t want her to move far away to a different part of the world, as she had suggested. She said she would be joining Dave on his upcoming weekend, so it didn’t make sense for her to move far away.

He grabbed the pillows from the floor, straightened up their covers and pulled the sheets back so he could set her in without waking her. He reached down and picked her up slowly. She stirred in his arms and he kissed her gently to let her know she was safe. He set her in the bed, pulled the covers up to her shoulders, knowing she’d have them pulled up to her eyes shortly. He flipped the bathroom light off and climbed in next to her for the rest of the night. He put his arm up and around her and she snuggled into him with a sigh. He was content as he drifted back to sleep for the night.

“G’morning beautiful,” he said as she cracked her eyes open. She blinked several times, trying to get her bearings and wake up. His lips twitched into a small smile as he waited for her to wake up. She reached up and touched his lips and chin with a small frown, still trying to figure out what the hell was going on, he could tell.

She licked her lips before she said, “John?” It was definitely a question.

“Yeah, Baby,” he murmured as he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

“Where am I? What day is it,” she asked. She had definitely lost tack of some days, she knew.

“It’s Wednesday morning, honey,” he said quietly. He could see she was still struggling to wake up fully. “You want some coffee, Baby,” he asked as he reached for the phone to dial room service. She nodded but stayed quiet as she woke up and worried. More memories and images were surfacing as she woke up and she was getting more upset with herself. “We’re still in Vancouver, Baby. RAW was two days ago,” he supplied.

“What? No. I thought, I thought that you were going home yesterday. I changed your flight to later so you could,” she said. She was still waking up and trying to connect all the dots. She pulled away from him in preparation for getting up and groaned. Holy shit, she was sore. That told her that the images she had in her head were real more than anything else. She hadn’t been this sore for that particular reason in years. No wait, months she corrected herself. Damn, what was she thinking yesterday? Why did she keep giving in to her carnal desires with him? When did her will power get so weak? What the hell was wrong with her?

She turned to him as he hung up from ordering room service, “John? I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I keep screwing you up honey. It’s my fault. I don’t want to screw you up as bad as me, but I keep dong it and it’s not fair. You deserve better, a lot better.”

He touched her lips with his index finger and brought her chin up so she looked into his eyes. He shook his head at her words and leaned to kiss her forehead again.

“I’m a big boy, Carrie. I make my own choices and I am not sorry about this. About us. I am sorry I’m so damn sore that I can barely move because one of us has to get up to answer the door for room service. They said they’d send it right up,” he finished with a grin into her eyes.

She’d never understand him. She hadn’t months ago and she still didn’t. She looked around for some clothes to throw on so she could answer the door. All she could see was his shirt, couldn’t find anybody’s pants. His shirt would have to do. She rolled out of bed gingerly and reached for the shirt. She pulled it over her head and giggled to herself as she realized it was longer on her than her own skirts. It hit her past her knees.

He stayed in bed and watched her movements, watched her pull on his shirt, watched her open the door at the knock and watched her bring in their tray. He would never get tired of watching her. He was amazed that she was able to move at all if she was anywhere near as sore as him. She poured some coffee for both but handed him a full chilled bottle of water first.

“Thanks, Baby,” he said as he took it from her with a smile.

She nodded but didn’t make eye contact. How could she get through to him that she wasn’t ready for an “us” as he put it? He should be free to follow his dreams without any entanglements from her or anybody. She knew about his recent exploits with some of the diva wanna be’s and it didn’t bother her. She didn’t have a claim on him, he was free to do who and how he pleased. At least that was how it was supposed to be, but he seemed to have strayed from their ground rules. He noticed her shoulders and saw her start to tense up as she drank her coffee. He wasn’t sure how the hell she had any energy left to spare on being tense, he knew he didn’t.

“Baby, what’s wrong? You want me to rub your shoulders again,” he offered.

She whipped her head around quickly and said, “No! Um no, I’m fine.” She didn’t want to be tempted again. She had already screwed up royally for two days, she didn’t want it to be strike three. He blinked at her quick response, but stayed quiet. He just wanted to help her relax.

How to get through to him, without hurting him, she worried. Damn it, this is exactly why she had her own set of rules and she swore to never break them, but she did. She slept with one of the boys and now look what happened? Her life had been one big complication since then. Plus she was still crying at the drop of a hat at the most inane things. She didn’t know what the hell was going on with her. Maybe she needed to go see a doctor or something. Was it that she was stressed? She didn’t think so, but then it was hard to tell when you’re in real deep. She straightened her spine and took a deep breath in preparation to talking to him.

“Baby. Carrie, stop,” he said from the bed. She looked at him in confusion. “Carrie, you look like a deer in the headlights. You don’t have to explain. I already know. You’re not ready. I know,” he finished quietly and looked at her. He saw her eyes tear up and watched her escape to the bathroom and close the door. He sighed and drank his coffee. He didn’t know how to help her or if he could.

He heard the shower turn on and knew that would help her to deal with stuff in a small way. He hoped it helped with the stiffness. He tried to stretch but all his muscles protested at the strain. He knew exactly why he was this damn sore and he wasn’t sorry about that at all. Maybe a hot shower would help. He’d wait until she was finished since she wanted privacy right now. He didn’t know what their plans were for the rest of the day but it seemed dumb to fly all the way home since he needed to be in El Paso tomorrow. Maybe he could talk her into going to a movie or something. That sounded like a good place to start. They both had been cooped up too long and maybe they could catch a bite to eat and a show this evening. Yeah, the more he thought about it, the more he liked the sound of that. Plus, they had never gone and done anything like that together before that wasn’t work related. He’d ask her when she came out and see if she was willing.

She emerged from the bathroom 20 or so minutes later, showered and clothed, he noticed. She seemed okay, but it was always hard to tell with her.

“Carrie, how about we go out for a bite and maybe a movie this evening,” he asked her quietly. She walked over to the chair that he had righted while she was in the shower and sat down.

“Um, okay. That sounds like a good idea. I take it you think it’s a waste of time to fly home for a few hours,” she asked him. He nodded.

“Yeah,” he said with a grin. “Did the hot shower ease any of the aches,” he asked.

“Eventually,” she admitted. He nodded and hopped out of bed to jump in the shower, hoping for some relief or he wouldn’t be hopping in or out of bed any time soon.

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