David picked up the ringing phone with “Dave here.” He was rewarded by Mike yelling into the phone at him. He had to hold the phone away just so he could understand him. Kris looked at him from her place on the couch next to him. He shook his head at her.

“Slow down buddy. I can’t understand what you’re saying. Mike, are you driving? If you are, find some place and park.” He was able to bring the phone back to his ear. His eyes widened as he listened to his friend’s tale. No responses were required from him, he knew. Mike just needed to yell and he was the lucky recipient.

After several long moments of listening David said, “You didn’t? You fucked up there buddy, I can’t help you with that one.” He listened some more and started scratching his chin as he listened, knowing his best friend had said some really stupid shit to the woman he loved.

“Mike. Hey Mike. Let me ask you this? Does she know how you feel about her yet?” The phone was silent on the other end. “I didn’t think so. If someone said those things to me, I’d be pissed off too. Do you blame her? Yeah, she’s with me this weekend and I’ll keep her safe, don’t worry…Okay, talk to you later buddy, bye.” David disconnected and tossed the phone to the other end of the couch. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he said, “Baby, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to take this shit,” he said to the lovely lady snuggled in his arms.

“What now,“ she asked him.

So he explained as best he could from Mike’s call. Mike was over at Lil’ Sis’s house, just starting to make some dinner for them both. She was playing around with her portable, like she does all the time. He asked her why she was smiling. She said something about reading an email from a friend…

“Oh, anyone I know,” Mike asked her, just curious.

“Yes, I think you’ve met him before” she said without supplying a name.

“Oh?” was all he said.

“Yeah, you’ve met John Cena before, haven’t you,” she asked him. He felt his temper rise at that non threatening question. He knew she didn’t mean anything, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah,” he said as he continued chopping up some celery. “What’d he say that had you smiling,” he asked. He knew he better pay attention to his preparations or he would be missing a finger.

“He’s still trying to figure out what’s up at RAW, who’s an asshole, who’s not. Then you add to the fact that he’s still getting over falling in the love with the wrong woman and he’s confused. He writes some funny shit when he’s confused, let me tell ya,” she smiled at him. Mike was quiet as he absorbed her answer.

“Shit, he’s only been on RAW a few weeks. Who was he stupid enough to fall in love with so quickly,” he asked her as he continued his dicing. She was quiet for a long moment.

She looked him in the eyes for several seconds before she said simply, “Me.”

“What? How did that happen? I hope he doesn’t think anything’s going to happen, does he?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer before he went on. “At least you told him no, right? You didn’t sleep with him, so no big deal.” She was quiet as she looked at him, not understanding his reaction, he could tell.

“You didn’t sleep with him, right?” he repeated his question.

“Why does it matter who I sleep with?” was her answer to his question.

“Why? You ask me why?” His voice raised in response to his outrage. “Shit woman, next thing I’ll find out is that you’ve slept with the whole damn roster!” He opened his arms expansively to punctuate his words as his voice rose in volume. “Is that why you travel with Dave every week, so you can find someone new for your bed? Or better yet, it’s probably just easier to share your bed with Dave while you travel!” He looked at her with a squint, like he didn’t really know her at all, if she was capable of that.

She stood up from her couch, quickly walked over to her front door, opened it and said quietly to him, “Out. Get out.”

He looked at her in confusion. She stayed silent as she looked him in the eye and held the door open. Realization hit him; she wanted him to leave, now. He clamped his lips shut to keep himself from saying anything else, glared at her as he grabbed his keys and left.

After he hung up the phone from Dave, it dawned him what he had said to her. Dave was right. It wasn’t his business who she slept with. He didn’t have the guts to tell her how he felt about her or that he wanted to protect her. He had been so upset by her telling him Cena was in love with her that his brain stopped working at that point. How could he ever take back those words, he wondered. Would she let him? Shit, he was so used to fighting with Lisa that he totally forgot Carrie’s feelings in all the shit. No wonder she told him to get out. He knew Dave had said she doesn’t like to fight, so why the hell did he slip back into his old pattern with her? What an asshole he was to her, again.

Carrie watched him go, still stunned at his words. They didn’t make any sense to her, so she let them go for now. She still felt a little too numb from her weekend with John to figure it out. She had other unpleasant stuff on her plate. She picked up her phone and dialed.

“Wease?” she said as he answered the phone.

“Yeah, Care. What’s up,” he asked. He could tell something was wrong by the tone of her voice in just that one word.

“I got a delivery in the mail a few days ago, from the federal government,” she paused.

“Shit,” was all he said. He waited for her to elaborate. He knew it wasn’t going to be good.

“Yeah. They’ve decided it’s time,” she said quietly.

“Shit,” was all he could say. He sat back down on his couch and dragged his fingers through his short hair, again. “When,” he thought to ask.

“That’s the shitty part. They requested my presence at the hearing. I don’t understand it, but I have to fly out tonight to be there tomorrow, bright and fucking early. You’re in luck, they didn’t tell me you had to go, too.” They were both quiet, thinking through all the ramifications of the inevitable. “I have to call David and let him know he’s on his own for his first weekend of Smack Down. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what’s in the wind. I have some shit to do, so I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, Care. Keep me posted and try to have a good day tomorrow,” Wease said tiredly.

“Yeah, you too. Get mellow enough for me, too. Bye,” and she disconnected. She dialed Kris and waited.

David answered with, “Dave here” as was his custom.

“David? Carrie here. Is Kris available,” she asked. David frowned at her request, not because she wanted to talk to Kris but she didn’t sound upset by Mike’s tantrum. She sounded all business. He handed the phone to Kris and waited.

“Kris, I have to fly out tonight. Yeah, I know you signed for it so it’s not really a surprise to you. I put off thinking about it until now, but that’s just stupid. I have to attend a hearing tomorrow and from there, I don’t know. Can you let David know he’s on his own for this weekend? His schedule is pretty straightforward, it’s all set. No surprises for him, hopefully,” she said quietly.

“Carrie, stop. I’ll tell him hon. He’ll understand. I’m just worried about you and tomorrow. How do you feel about it,” she asked her life long friend.

“I have a headache already, if that tells you anything,” she smiled so Kris could hear it in her voice. “I told Wease what’s up for tomorrow, so he’s aware, but after that, I don’t know. I just don’t know.” Kris could hear the weariness in her friend’s voice.

“Carrie, do you want me to come over,” Kris asked her, knowing that Carrie would never ask.

“You don’t have to do that, Kris. I’m a big girl,” she protested.

“Whatever. Have the ice cream ready for me in ten minutes. I’m coming over anyway,” she told her. David was silent next to her, surprised at his wife’s words. He didn’t understand what they were talking about. At first he thought it was the fight with Mike, but the more they said, or didn’t say, the more he thought it was something different.

***

The ringing phone woke her. She answered it, seeing it was Wease or Carla.

“Good morning” she said as she tried to get her voice working.

“Kris, did I wake you? I’m so sorry, but I’m so worried,” the raven haired beauty said.

Kris had an idea why, but asked, “What honey? What’s wrong?” David stirred beside her, reached out and stroked her hair. She smiled at him, but continued to listen to Carla.

“It Wes. I’m really worried about him. He spoke to Carrie last night and hasn’t stopped smoking since,” she said. They both knew what she was referring to, it wasn’t his normal pattern of behavior.

“Is he home, Carla,” Kris asked her as she sat up and pulled the covers close. David continued to stroke her hair as he listened to her end of the conversation.

“Yes, but he’s not really here. It’s like he’s checked out or something,” she explained. Kris wanted to tell her that she described exactly what he had done. He had checked out of reality for now, it was safer that way. But it wasn’t her place to tell Carla that. It was Wease’s and he obviously hadn’t yet.

“I don’t know what to say other than leave him be for now. He’ll get tired of that soon enough,” she said.

“You sure? Abby can’t even get his attention,” Carla said. Yeah, I’m sure, Kris thought to herself; it all depends on what Carrie finds out today. She was worried too, but knew it was nothing in comparison to her two siblings.

“If nothing else, he’ll run out sooner or later and will have to stop. He doesn’t normally keep a lot of it around. Or at least he didn’t used to,” Kris said to Wease’s worried partner.

“Yeah, you’re right. I just hate to see him this way. There’s something going on and we normally talk about it, but not this time,” she explained.

“I understand. I expect to hear from Carrie sometime today, if I hear before you, I’ll call. All we can do right now is wait,” Kris said. Wait and pray, she though to herself.

“Okay. I’m just worried. You know what he’s like sometimes. I’m sorry for waking you.” Kris could hear one of the kids in the background crying and knew that Carla was on her own today. “Please keep me informed or ask Carrie to call if she calls you first. Thanks for letting me worry on you,” Carla said ruefully.

“Sweetie, don’t worry about it. That’s what families are for. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Kris disconnected and looked at her husband who had been quiet during the call, but she knew he was very curious. “Before you ask me, I can’t tell you, so don’t even ask. All I can say is Wease has checked out of reality for now and Carla is concerned,” she said as she reached out to brush his lips with her fingers, as she hoped for patience and understanding.

“One of these days, baby. I’m going to find out what the hell is going on with those two. As long as it’s nothing,” he started to say.

“I know, I know. It’s nothing you can help with right now. I’ll talk to her about it and let her know she has people who love her and want to help. She’s not used to asking for help. We talked about that last night,” she said as she smiled into his eyes, knowing that he had a very busy weekend ahead. “You worried about this weekend,” she asked him.

“Not really. Change is a good thing sometimes and it helps to remind myself of that,” he said as he rubbed his hand down her back, letting her know what he wanted. She thought his idea might be a very good one to send him off on his first weekend back with Smack Down.

After David had left for the airport, and the kids were off to school. She called the doctors office as requested. They were supposed to be giving her some of Melissa results, but said they wanted her to call first instead. She had a feeling what they were. She sighed as she thought about it, knowing they were strong enough to deal with it, with anything that came their way as a family.


***


Carrie was up before five, even after her quickie red eye flight. She couldn’t sleep anymore and knew she needed to burn off some energy. She changed into some workout clothes and headed to the hotel’s gym. She didn’t have to meet her lawyer until just before nine, so she had plenty of time to chase away her demons and burn off some of her nervous energy. She couldn’t remember the last time she was so wound up. She spent forty five minutes pedaling her ass to nowhere. That helped a little. Time to beat the shit out of herself with some weights. She was glad that the boys weren’t with her. She knew they would frown on her routine today. She used heavier than normal weights and upped her reps, just to challenge herself and wash her mind clean for a time. After an hour and a half of abuse, she finally felt ready to face the day, face her.

She remembered to eat something, showered and changed into one of her power suits, the one that Kris recommended last night. She said the pale green one was soft enough, but not too feminine. She wished she knew what Kris meant by that, but would follow her advice on clothing since she had never steered her wrong before.

Her legal representative had assured she didn’t need to speak today, since she had given her statement earlier and they would speak on her behalf. She wished she didn’t have to attend, but they had advised her that her presence would be noted. She didn’t know what to expect at the hearing so she was surprised that it seemed almost informal. She made sure to keep her eyes on the panel, not looking anywhere but there. She kept her breathing even and slow, just like she had learned many years ago. She knew she was in the same room, but managed to avoid any contact, any glimpse of her. She kept her hands on the table in front of her, folded easily. She wanted the ordeal to end, she wanted the day done and she wanted nothing to do with her again.

She remembered later, the panel addressing her directly, asking her if she had anything to add to the statement read by her advisor. She shook her head, but was asked to speak her answer also. “No,” was all she said quietly. The panel looked at her, apparently waiting for more? She didn’t know, but she wasn’t going to give them any more. Her legal representative, who was also a friend, whispered to her and asked if she was finished. She nodded. The panel excused all of them and told them they would have their answer within a few weeks at most, maybe just a few days. Carrie waited for the other people to leave then stood to leave. She didn’t want to have anything to do with her. She had caught a couple of glimpses and that was enough for her. Her advisor knew of her wishes to avoid all contact so he waited until the other parties were gone before they left. He escorted her to their car silently, recognizing her quiet as necessary. Once she was dropped off back at her hotel, she went into her room, locked the door, stripped off her power suit, lay down on the bed and sobbed. The whole day became one big blur to her, she wanted to be able to forget all of it, but knew she wouldn’t.

She wasn’t sure how long she had slept, but knew it must have been a while because her cell was blinking, indicating a message. Just as she was ready to flip it open to listen to it, her phone rang. She answered it, “Ms. Martin, can I help you?” since she didn’t see who it was.

“Carrie? Are you okay? I’m so sorry I was an asshole last night. I have no business getting in your face about that stuff. I apologize. Carrie, you there?” he asked her.

“Yeah, Mike. I’m here. Just spacing off as usual, sorry,” she admitted to him for the first time.

“Is Dave with you? Can I talk to him,” he asked.

“No, David’s on his own this weekend. I’m out of town for business. I had some other stuff I needed to take care of,” she clarified for him. He was surprised, last he knew she was with David all weekend. But he didn’t push, he’d already worn out his quota of asshole behavior with her for a good year or more, he thought.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know. Are you okay? You don’t sound like yourself,” he asked. She sounded tired and something else, but he didn’t know what.

She cursed herself for answering the phone before she had a chance to get her shit together. He always worried, soon he would start nagging at her to eat something. He always did.

“I’m just tired. Today wasn’t my best day, that’s for sure. But I’ve had worse,” she said quietly.

He knew he was missing something, something pretty serious. He stopped pacing for a moment to think. “Carrie, are you in trouble? Do you need help?”

“Thank you Mike, but no. I’m fine, just had a shitty day, that’s all. I wish I was traveling with David this weekend. It’s more fun traveling with a bunch of asshole wrestlers every week, believe me,” she smiled as she spoke so he could hear it. He was quiet for a moment, knowing that she wasn’t going to say anything else on the subject. She never opened up about personal stuff.

“Okay. This is the part where I ask you if you’ve eaten today, so spare me the trouble and tell me, will ya,” he chuckled.

She sighed before she answered him. “I ate breakfast, a long time ago. But not anything else, yet. I plan on addressing that when we’re done, if that’s okay with you,” she teased. He shook his head as her listened to her, knowing there was something serious going on, but she had just flipped a switch and was back to her normal self.

“As long as it’s not just a piece of cheese, it’ll be okay.” he teased her back.

“Well shit, it was going to be two pieces of cheese, so I guess I better think of something else then, huh?”

***

18 years ago –


The nurse looked over her glasses at the doctor as he was checking the equipment before they began the procedure. She had checked the patient, ensuring that she was ready, as ready as she’d ever be for this kind of thing. The warden wouldn’t allow them to use any kind of anesthesia, which the nurse considered barbaric to say the least but she was under orders to follow the doctor’s lead. They didn’t want to spare the expense, the warden said. Privately the nurse thought that they warden didn’t want to have to account for the use of it, considering the procedure they were performing and the fact that it would raise some flags if it were known. She noticed their patient moderated her breathing, while still looking at the two people looming over her.

“Are you ready honey,” the nurse asked their young patient. The patient shook her head and held up her hand, with all five fingers spread out, indicating five more minutes. The nurse nodded. The patient closed her eyes and slowed her breathing down more, knowing it would be needed. She knew she was almost ready, she just needed a little more time to ensure her state. She had heard that no medication was going to be used and knew she’d need to ‘leave herself’ if she intended to keep calm and quiet. She would not cry out, she told herself. She would not let them know they had hurt her. Her silence was her weapon of choice, knowing that they believed her to be deficient in some way, since she was quiet. But she watched and waited, knowing that the names and faces were burned into her brain.

Several more minutes passed before the nurse went to check on the patient, to make sure she was ready. It wasn’t quiet five minutes, but she wanted to see how their young girl was holding up. She looked at her closely and realized that the young girl had somehow managed to relax herself and put herself into some kind of sleep. She recognized the blank stare, but was surprised since no drugs were used. That’s okay honey, she thought to herself. You just keep yourself asleep as long as possible today, she thought to herself.

“The patient is ready, Doctor,” the nurse told the doctor. He looked up from his preparations and nodded. This was his least favorite procedure to perform, but he had been asked to do quite a few recently. It was disturbing to him, it went against all his training and schooling, but it was part of his chosen profession, he knew. The nurse wheeled the device closer to the gurney, to ensure the smoothness and quickness of the procedure. Neither nurse nor doctor wanted this little one to suffer any more than she already would by having to wait while they moved the device closer.

The doctor glanced at their young patient, trying hard to stay professional as he noticed how young this one was and how small. He was angry that he had been requested to perform the procedure on this patient. It was something that shouldn’t be needed, if she was being cared for the way that the state required. He kept his opinions to himself on the state of things, knowing he had his children’s future to consider. He despised this part of his job, but knew it was needed and he was contractually obligated to carry it out. He had first seen this patient a week ago when she was screened for the procedure. Through his examination, he was able to verify that she had sustained some injuries recently and the extent of the damage was unknown. But, the procedure was asked for by the patient herself. He understood her request, if his instincts were right about this one. Putting all of that aside, he checked the patient one last time, knowing that no anesthesia was used and they might have to hold her down. He was shocked to see her face slack, looking like she had been drugged.

"Nurse, did you give this patient anything," he directed over his shoulder to the attending nurse.

"No sir. She did that all by herself," she supplied. The doctor looked up and saw her eyes crinkle at the corners, indicating that she was smiling to some extent. He couldn't tell how much since they were both fully gowned and gloved with their masks covering everything but their eyes. He was surprised, but relieved. He hoped she would be able to maintain her calm once they started.

He verified everything one last time before beginning. The nurse looked at him and nodded her readiness. During the procedure, the patient didn't stir, didn't flinch or cry out. Both doctor and nurse knew the procedure was painful so they were incredulous at the little one's ability to shut out everything. The nurse privately thought that was how the little one survived. The doctor dictated some observations once the procedure was completed, referencing some trauma sustained and the effect on the patient. He wasn't able to determine the extent of injuries during the procedure.

She was awake and aware during the entire process and heard the doctor's comments, but was unable to react because she had already distanced herself. Once they were finished and had wheeled her to another room, she allowed herself to flow back into her consciousness. She was furious, but also in so much pain that she doubted her ability to shut everything out again. She knew she was expected back in court tomorrow, so the jury could listen to more lies. The only thing that kept her focused was knowing that her brother was counting on her because there was no one else. She wanted to put the entire experience behind her, including today but wasn't sure how long she'd be able to keep her composure in the face of tomorrow's testimony. She knew the name of the doctor and nurse, knowing they would be called on later to testify against her if the lawyer was correct in his guess about the direction the opposing counsel was taking.

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