Someone was crying. That’s the only thing he was able to distinguish. Someone was crying. He couldn’t tell anything else, but someone was crying. A woman was crying, he decided. Why was she crying? He listened to that sound for a long time, not understanding anything other than a woman was crying. Where was he? What the hell was he doing on the floor? What floor? A woman was still crying. All the questions moved slowly through his head while he was lying on the floor. Smells like a locker room some where, he thought. He tried to turn his head to the crying and was rewarded with a sharp stabbing pain behind his right eye. He just concentrated on keeping his eye closed.

“uh, shit” he mumbled. The crying stopped.

“David?” Carrie called him name. “Can you hear me?”

“Mmm, think so,” he whispered, since anything louder would’ve made his head explode.

“You okay?”

“I don’t know. Where am I and what the hell happened” he asked her. His voice was just above a whisper.

“Don’t try to talk too much. You need to roll over slowly and sit up, but do it slowly,” she cautioned.

He did as she instructed, moving slowly, stopping altogether a few times because the world seemed to spin. Eventually he was able to sit up, but nothing more yet. She could see that he felt ill, he was pale and sweating. A couple of times he looked like he was going to throw up, but managed to avoid it.

“Just sit for a while, it’ll pass,” she assured him. He wasn’t too sure about that. Right now he wasn’t too sure about anything other than he felt like he’d been run over by a truck. God, what happened, he wondered.

“We are in Tucson, the show is over and we’re ready to go to the airport for our flight,” she quietly explained.

He must have look as confused as he felt if she needed to tell him where they were. He slowly nodded his head. That didn’t feel so bad that time, maybe he could stand up. He started to try to stand up, but a wave of dizziness and nausea hit him hard so he sat back down.

“Don’t rush it,” she warned him. He just sat and waited to get his guts back under control.

“You ready for me to answer a few questions,” she asked him gently. I don’t know how to tell him all this shit, there’s no way to take the sting out of it, she worried.

“You remember me telling you about Melissa?”

“Yeah”

“Good, you remember me telling you that we have a red eye to catch?”

“No?” He was confused by that news. Why didn’t he remember that, he wondered.

“Okay, we have a flight leaving in a couple of hours so you can get back home to your family, where you belong.”

“Okay”

“You remember anything else?”

“I remember not being able to understand what you were saying, it’s like you were far away, under water or something,” he said, genuinely confused by the fact.

Okay, so he has never experienced that kind of rage before, that’s a good thing, she reasoned. “Okay, anything else?”

“Um, I remember getting really pissed off,” he said quietly.

“Okay”

“I remember throwing my shaving stuff”

“K, anything else?”

“Um, I remember..” he quickly looked to the back shower wall and saw his smaller case there, “I remember throwing that.”

Here it comes. “Anything else?”

“I remember getting even more pissed and wanting to throw more shit. Oh god! Carrie, are you okay?” He looked over to her for reassurance.

“I’m fine, a little shaky, but fine. How are you feeling?”

“Like I was it by a truck. What the hell happened?”

“I’m so sorry David. I didn’t know what else to do,” she said as she looked away.

“What are you talking about?” He didn’t understand what she was saying.

“I took you down,” she said as she looked him in the eyes.

“What? How?” Did he just hear that right? This little girl kicked his ass and he didn’t remember her doing it?

“It doesn’t matter. How do you feel? Are you up to standing yet?”

“I don’t know.” He rubbed his head to make sure it was still all in one piece.

“Sorry I had to hurt you. I couldn’t get you to listen,” she was trying to explain it to him, but tears had started again.

“Jesus, Carrie. Don’t feel bad for me being an asshole, not your fault,” he said from the floor.

She was silent, but sat back up on the bench, waiting for him to try. A few minutes later, he was able to sit on the bench.

“No real hurry,” she assured him.

“Do the guys know what’s going on? With me, with my family,” he asked quietly.

“They do now. They didn’t until after you came in here.” They were both quiet for a few minutes. Carrie got up and retrieved his smaller case.

“The shaving kit wasn’t worth bothering with, sorry,” trying to keep her voice level. He looked at her finally absorbing everything, horrified and full of self loathing at what he had done, what he almost did. He had almost become what he had been trying so hard not to be his entire adult life.

“I am so sorry. I don’t know how you can ever forgive me. Shit Carrie, I never want to hurt you,” he sobbed. He sat quietly on the bench sobbing at his actions and the thought of what could have happened.

She stayed silent and watched him grieve. She didn’t offer him any comfort. It was something he needed to come to terms with, in his own way and time. I can’t help you with this one David, she thought as she watched him go through gut wrenching sobs.

Once his grief seemed to run its course, she said gently. “Let me know when you feel ready to try again.”

He lifted his face and looked up at her, unsure of her meaning. She gestured to him about standing up. Oh thank god, that’s was all she’s talking about, he thought. He eventually was able to stand on his own. He was amazed at how much strength it took to keep him up. At first he leaned against the wall for support. Eventually, he felt a little stronger. He remembered that they had a flight to catch.

“I think I’m ready to re-join the rest of the world,” David said, trying to sound lighthearted.

“Okay, but I am driving this time, no matter what you say.”

“No argument from me tonight, I barely have the strength left to drag my ass to the car.”

“I am so sorry, David. I had hoped to never have to do that to anyone, again.”
”
“I don’t even want to know, I just can’t deal yet,” he said tiredly.

They were silent as they put their cases in the car and left. He sat next to her on the passenger side, but his head was in his hands and he had retreated in to quiet. They were the last of the “talent” to go. The only people left at the arena were the technicians, breaking things down, cabling wires back up, loading it into the massive trucks so they can do it all again in a few days.

***

Wednesday night she ran and ran on the treadmill. She had some serious demons she needed to keep at bay and this was one of the few ways that usually seemed to work for her. The treadmill had always been her best outlet. She should have dropped from exhaustion, she knew, but somehow she kept running, unable to find answers she desperately needed.

The rest of the house was quiet, but that wasn’t a surprise since it was the middle of the night. She was grateful that Dave had decided to put the gym in the basement, at the far end of the house. It kept the noise down. What was she doing on this thing anyway? It wasn’t going to give her any answers and she wasn’t solving any either, she finally realized. She slowed it down so she could get off and walked over to one of Dave’s weight benches. She thought she had managed to conceal her sleeplessness from everyone, but Carrie somehow knew. Dave was fast asleep in their bed, after a long travel week and a couple extra of days of worry.

He had gone directly from the airport to the hospital to be with her and their daughter. He needed to be with her, he had said. The unspoken thought was there, “just in case.” But neither dared say it out loud, instead they just clung to each other in the family lounge of the ICU. The staff was caring, but could offer them little comfort. She hated the thought of leaving their little girl all alone, but the staff insisted they would call if there was any change. Melissa had managed to fight down her fever (she’s her daddy’s girl, a tough little one, she thought) and now it was a waiting game to see if there was any lasting damage as the infection was brought under control. God, she couldn’t even think about it without crying. It was just so unfair for their youngest, to have any additional obstacles to over come. The last few days had been a blur or nurses, doctors, hours and hours of waiting and watching her baby sleep.

She was finally able to hold her yesterday, in spite of all the tubes and iv’s and other interference. She thought she’d cry at the simple joy of just holding her baby. Dave had been there, through all of it. When they were finally allowed to hold their little girl, both mommy and baby sat in protective embrace of Dave on one of the couches in the family lounge. They stayed like that for several hours, watching her doze on and off. It seemed like just a few moments, but the nurses finally had to come and get her so they could change some of the iv bags. The nurses must have spoken with the doctors because the next doctor on duty asked them when the last time either of them had slept. Neither had for several days.

So, they followed doctor’s orders and went home for some much needed sleep. They’d be back at the hospital before the long, she knew. The kids were staying with their favorite aunt, Carrie. She had insisted. Louise needed a break, she had said and it also freed her to go visit her grand-daughter. She had heard Dave’s story about Carrie’s black eye but hadn’t seen her yet. She wondered what she was telling the kids. Knowing Carrie, she’d probably come up with some highly unlikely but very funny story. The kids loved their Aunt Carrie’s stories. Kris wondered where she came up with them, but she always seemed to have one handy for the kids. She knew Carrie would make sure they got to school on time, brushed their teeth and did all the other things that she would worry about, but she still felt guilty.

God, she felt so guilty! She should have insisted on those tests sooner, she knew something wasn’t right. She should have told Dave sooner, she didn’t give him enough credit. She shouldn’t have asked Carrie to keep it from him. She shouldn’t have let Melissa play last weekend. She shouldn’t have taken her outside when she wasn’t feeling well. If guilt was a river, she was drowning in it, she knew. It was illogical, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. Dave was her life preserver in her self created guilt river. He let her cry, scream, and yell without saying a word, he just held her. She knew he was just as upset, but he let her vent and gave her comfort. He’s such a sweet man, she thought to herself. Millions of people only ever saw the “animal” side of him and thought that’s who he was. They couldn’t be more wrong. He was the softy with the kids always, even before he went on the road. The kids knew who to go to if they wanted or needed something. They went to Dad, since he was the big pushover. Right now that big pushover was getting a few hours of rest, she thought to herself. Why couldn’t she just be content and stay asleep in his loving embrace? They were both too exhausted to comfort each other in any other way.

She even felt guilty for Carrie’s black eye. She knew the story behind it, and knew it wasn’t really her fault, but she thought if she had been on the road with Dave, Carrie wouldn’t have had to deal with that bitch. He had told her all about Christy, and her harassment. Carrie had told her a slightly more colorful version, if possible, but also shared with her Evolution’s minor meltdown in the locker room afterwards. She even felt guilty for that! She knew how ridiculous all these guilty feelings were, but she just couldn’t stop herself.

She peeked at the clock and realized it was just a few minutes before the time Dave said he wanted to be awake. She’d been sitting and stewing on the bench for over half an hour. Hmm, she smiled as she thought of a way to wake him up; a way they’d both enjoy.

She climbed the stairs to their room, quietly opened the door and stripped out of her clothes. She quickly checked to make sure he wasn’t awake and slid in the covers behind him. Hmm, he always felt so good, even though she couldn’t reach all the way around him, she could reach enough. She slid her hand across his back, down to the small of his back and snaked around to his hip. She let herself stroke his hip for a moment, relishing the contours of his lean frame. His breathing had changed so she knew he was waking up, but not fully. She slid her hand down his backside, dragging her nails lightly across to his legs. He shifted and mumbled something. He was waking up, that’s all that mattered to her at the moment. She couldn’t believe how much touching him excited her, even after all this time. It was like they were teenagers, she thought. She continued her gentle touching, now caressing his backside and nibbling on his back and shoulder. She wondered how long he’d be able to take her slow, gentle torture.

Almost as soon as she formed that thought, he grabbed her hand and pulled it to him, to show her what she had done to him. Yes, he was awake alright. He turned towards her, his dark eyes focused on her with his unspoken need for her burning in them. He grabbed free her hand and brought it to his lips, gently.

Later, she lay exhausted, feeling well loved and protected, with a very large man next to her in bed. He brushed her hair off of his face reluctantly so he could lean over to kiss her parched lips, “Sweetie, you okay?”

“Mmm, yes, but I feel guilty about it.”

“Don’t. Don’t ever feel guilty about that.”

“Uh…Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“You still owe me?”

“What?”

“What you said you’d do to me on the phone. You still owe me!”

“Damn, you’re right”, he said with wicked chuckle. “Guess we’ll just have to practice until I get it right next time.”

“Sounds good to me,” was all she said as she drifted off.

He smiled when he realized she had fallen asleep. He eased himself out of bed, being very careful not to disturb her. If he had to do that for her everyday to make sure she got some sleep, count me in, he thought. He knew she hadn’t been sleeping and wanted to let her get as much sleep as she could before they went back to the hospital. They still had a few hours before they were expected back. The doctors and nursing staff had told them to stay away and get some rest so they could be strong for Melissa. Just the thought of his youngest in the hospital was enough to make him almost physically sick. It was made worse by knowing what she was fighting and the toll it might take. He didn’t like feeling so helpless. He wasn’t used to it and didn’t know how to cope with the feeling other than to ignore it.

After a long hot shower that helped ease some of his aches, he went downstairs, made himself some coffee and was just starting on making one of his famous “Dave’s Omelets” for breakfast. The entire family, including Carrie as long he was careful about the ingredients, loved his omelets, even though they were made with fake eggs. They were filled with all kinds of goodies, anything that he could find in the fridge usually, so they were always different. He made his considerably larger than he would for anyone else in the family. He had just put in all in the pan when the phone rang.

“Yeah,” was all he said. He could tell it was Mike by his caller id.

“Hey, how are things this morning,” his longtime friend asked.

“She seems to be getting better so far. The doctors are happy that she is responding to treatment this time. The rest of the shit we won’t know for a long time, they said.” He sipped his first cup of coffee, but had to put it down to tend to his omelet and the phone. He wasn’t awake enough to be coordinated yet.

“What a relief that she’s getting better,” Mike said. “How come I caught you at home?”

“They shoo-ed us out last night or early this morning and told us to go home and get some sleep. I just got up a while ago and was making my famous breakfast.”

“You bastard, know what I had for breakfast this morning,” Mike asked his friend.

“Coffee and…I give up, what,” Dave said, enjoying the simple conversation with his buddy.

“You guessed it, coffee,’ he confessed.

“Shit, you know better than that. You’re as bad as Carrie,” he scolded. He gently folded his omelet and almost dropped the phone in the process.

“How is she by the way,” Mike asked. He liked his best friend’s sister in law and knew she was a huge help to Dave on the road in all aspects of the business. Maybe like wasn’t exactly the right word, he thought.

“Other than nursing a whopping black eye, I don’t know,” he said without thinking. “I haven’t talked to her in a few days. The kids are staying with her,” he said. He hoped Mike wasn’t going to ask him about it, but knew he probably would.

“Black eye? Did you give it to her,” Mike was amazed just thinking about it. He couldn’t imagine how she ended up with a black eye. She was usually so reserved and controlled, except on the phone, he remembered.

“Nah, it’s a long and confusing story,” he said as he was sliding his omelet onto his plate.

“When is anything involving Carrie not long and confusing,” Mike chuckled.

“Man, this smells great. Bet it’s going to taste great too.” He was teasing Mike and putting off talking about Carrie. He wasn’t sure what was going on there, he still had some serious shit to deal with.

“Asshole, no wait, I think it was bastard today,” Mike grinned through the phone at his buddy. “Come on; tell me how that little hellion ended up with a shiner. I can’t believe it.”

Dave told him what he knew of the slap and the reasons for it. Mike didn’t understand her reasoning either.

“I can’t imagine that went over well with Hunter or Rick,” he questioned. He had met Dave’s wrestling buddies on many occasions and enjoyed their company, especially when Dave was paying for the drinks and getting his ass beat in pool.

“Um, you could say that. Extremely pissed off would be a better way to describe it. But somehow Hunter is willing to give Lil Sis’ plan a try, even though none of us understand it. Speaking of pissed off, let me tell you how we took her to Hooters in Tucson,” he was laughing before he even finished his sentence.

Mike was ready to listen and laugh with Dave as he told his story of being driven round in circles that finally ended up at Hooters.

“Why was she so pissed, she doesn’t usually care about the scenery,” Mike said, referring to her disregard of nudity, male or female. “Plus, aren’t those chicks wearing clothes?”

“Not a thing on the entire menu she could eat,” he clarified for his buddy.

“Oh, right. I forgot about that. No wonder she’s so damn small, she doesn’t eat right,” Mike said with out thinking.

“This coming from you, who just a minute ago confessed to a coffee breakfast,” Dave queried.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. So what else is happening,” Mike asked.

The two friends spent the next several minutes updating each other. The call ended with, “Talk to you soon, say hi to Kris for me and get that baby well,” from Mike.

David was relaxed after his phone call with his long time friend and business partner. They had been friends for almost as long as Kris and Carrie. Mike was the brains behind the marketing and money side and was also a help to sift ideas through. He had a “real job” as he called it, but most of the time was able to work from home and set his own hours. Usually when David was home they hit the gym together, it was one of their shared passions. But this week was not usual.

He was just clearing up from his breakfast when the phone rang again. He noted the number and decided he wasn’t ready yet. On second thought, he didn’t want the ringing to wake Kris.
 

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